That Bea Arthur is such

That Bea Arthur is such a hootchie

manly, husky voice
in alien cantina
way, WAY outsexed blanche

In honor of both my brother-in-law’s birthday, and the fact that Star Wars is FINALLY out on DVD (even if it has stupid stuff in it like Greedo shooting first), I bring you a friday afternoon Star Wars Holiday Special haiku extravaganza. Enjoy (and please feel free to add your own haiku and/or adorable anecdotes about the first time you saw the dreaded SWHS).

bea arthur, harvey
korman, jefferson starship
My eyes! Oh the pain!

mos eisley hootchie
tempting aliens with her
scary ass long air

O tatooine. O
tatooine your dunes are so
smooth and jawa-y

OK. I admit, I haven’t actually see the SWHS, but it truly looks awesome (in a painful, these-actors-must-be-really-coked-up-and-or-hard-up-for-cash-to-do-this kind of way). I’d love to see it in its full glory – including the commercials for death star toys and remote control R2D2s. If you want more screen caps and some funny commentary on the whole shebang, you can go here.

Happy “Life Day” to you all and may the Force cleanse these terrible haiku from your brain.

By the way, I was in the same restaraunt with Bea Arthur once. She was kind of loud and scary (and, frankly, I thought she was possibly drunk and disorderly).

At the time I didn’t know about the SWHS , but man, if I had, I might have asked for her autograph. Years of Golden Girls and Broadway shows be damned. It’s the SWHS she should be remembered for. If only my tivo could take me back in time…

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