attack of the mums high

attack of the mums

high school homecoming
pounds upon pounds of trinkets
creating humpbacks

From what I gather, staggering through the high school hallways bedecked in copious amounts of jangling plastic crap and flammable ribbon is pretty much a Texas homecoming tradition. I know that kids in other states wear mums for homecoming – and mums are even a college homecoming tradition. For sheer gaudiness and reckless abandon for one’s spine, though, I think Texas has most states beat.

Back a thousand years ago (well, ten years ago) when I was in high school, the mum thing was a pretty big deal. They were giant and awful, but they weren’t entities to themselves like they are nowadays.

Nowadays we have this:

(for the punk rock sistah?)

And this:

(for the “just cart me to my classes in a wheelbarrow” gal)

And this, the coup de gras:

(for the “I want those bitches to see my fineness coming and going” girl)

Granted, I never did the homecoming thing in high school, so I don’t really understand the necessity of hanging baubles from my left boob. I was more the try-and-study-during-the-pep-rally-only-to-be-threatened-with-in-school-suspension-if-I-didn’t- get-my-butt-out-of-the-library-and-into-the-gym kind of girl. I was a nerd. Still am. So maybe I’m lacking the popular girl gene that helps people understand why ginormous alters to Michael’s Crafts and Arts stores are necessary to enjoy a football game.


To each his own. I know the kids get really riled up for this stuff. They’re buying mums in fifth grade now, some of them. Crazy. But, whatever. If some poor lovesick kid wants to save his grass mowing money to buy a mum for his sweetheart, who am I to say that’s dopey? I once received a very nice 40-lb. bag of manure from a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. (It was an inside joke – and a hysterical gift. But, you know, some girl’s would hate that.)

So power to the mums, I guess. Just as long as the girls wearing them stay away from open flames and windstorms.

(The photos by the way, are stolen from the October edition of Texas Co-Op Power, this awesome little magazine I get as a member of the Pedernales Electric Co-Op. The photog is Geno Esponda.)

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