hep me guru is in

hep me

guru is in jail
not that she’d help anyway
I ain’t rich, Martha

I posted this on a mama discussion board, but I haven’t gotten a lot of advice yet, so I’m looking to you, Blog People. Hep me with my stunted crafting abilities…

Even if I play the Beastie Boys “She’s Crafty” and I put Martha on in
the background, I still cannot glue, sew, iron-on, or decopage my way
out of a paper bag.

Even so, I’m still attempting to make the wee one a knight in
shining armor costume. So far, it’s a couple of pieces of poster board
covered in aluminum foil, and it doesn’t look half bad (well, really,
it looks a lot a gladiator outfit). I’ve come to the conclusion that
the only way to avoid looking like a gladiator/baked potato is to add
some chain maille.

Anybody have any ideas on how to make some safe, fake chain maille –
like a hood and something to go over his arms? I found some kind of
aluminum netting at Michaels that looked pretty cool, but it was about
800 million dollars and seemed awfully stabby.

If we lived in the Matrix I could just have Trinity slam a spike in my
head and download all the info I need to learn how to knit some chain
maille. Alas.

Any help out there? Bueller?

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