repositioning my corporation always in


my corporation
always in turmoil, messy
but I don’t cook books

A while back Dell Computer repositioned itself to become just Dell Period. This way they can go into lucrative markets like plasma TVs and world domination.

A lot of corporations do this. Remember Firestone of death by SUV fame? Now they’re pretty much just Bridgestone. And Kentucky Fried Chicken? That’s Kitchen FRESH Chicken now (even though it still kills you from the inside out).

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about how it would be interesting if families could be repositioned like this. You slog home from work one day, throw your bag o’ work crap on the ground, gather the kids together and say, “Hey guess what? We’re no longer the Smith family, OK? We’re now the Smith Fam, LLC. We’re going to produce happiness and organic homemade lasagne instead of familial discord and non-digestible Hamburger Helper. Everyone on board? Good.”

Except that, on a fundamental level, you’re still the same old group of scraggly junk-food eating, reality TV watching, butt-scratching folks. Just like the corporations.

Maybe it’s kind of like that grotesque Extreme Makeover show. You can take the junk out of the trunk, but it’s still the same damn trunk, you know? Don’t corporations realize that the public knows they’re the same on the inside as they used to be? It takes more than an altered name to become something new.

It takes a good ad agency. Haha. Just kidding. Well, not really.

I guess maybe I’m confusing repositioning with rebranding. That is, if they’re actually two different things to begin with.

I’m going to stop writing this now, not just because I’ve lost track of what I was thinking in the first place, or because the wee one has appeared wearing only a diaper and my calf length high-heeled black boots and is looking disturbingly like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

I’m stopping because this post reminds me of the esoteric, yet meaningless conversations I used to have when I was young and thought I knew everything. Now that I’m not so young and still think I know everything, I can at least recognize when I’m being boring.

Sorry about that. More poop jokes forthcoming. I promise.

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