crazy bullshit maymay day I

crazy bullshit maymay day

I can think of squat
synapses misfiring
hibernating brain

I stole this from Baldomom. It seemed like the perfect thing to do on a day where I can’t put two words together because of election angst and my fall down excitement over the Texas Book Festival this weekend.

So here’s the first handful of the 100 Questions Maymay Thing I Stole:

1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
PureMoods

2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
I don’t raid the fridge. I raid the pantry for any and all Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
Dumbo

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
I might go for lasik – or maybe that underarm botox that keeps you from sweating like a wild animal.

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
only about a million of them

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
chewing my fingernails

7. Are you a pyromaniac?
no

8. Do you have too many love interests?
counting subconscious crushes that manifest themselves in bizarre dreams that scare me for days? Yes.

9. Do you know anyone famous?
I know people who know people who are famous, does that count?

10. Describe your bed:
big. and usually soaked with remnants of butt lick from my gross dog.

11. Spontaneous or planned?
planned spontaneity. Sounds like an oxymoron, but it isn’t. I swear.

12. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
I could think of someone really good if the wee one WOULD STOP HAMMERING THE CLOSET DOOR WITH THAT GODDAMN TINY YET LOUD TOY HAMMER

13. Do you know how to play poker?
I know the basics, but I don’t get the betting part. So, I guess, no.

14. What do you carry with you at all times?
the wee one, my phone, an Imodium AD caplet, a constant nagging urge that I should be writing

15. What do you miss most about being a kid?
having grown-ups hand me money when I need it

16. Are you happy with your given name?
yeah. I dig it.

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
The Internet? Not that much. E-mail? A quadzillion dollars.

18. What color is your bedroom?
white and imaginary orange or yellow or green. One day we’ll paint.

19. What was the last song you were listening to?
Float On, Modest Mouse

20. Have you ever been in a play?
many

21. Have you ever been in love?
I grow more in love everyday. Being in love is exponential for me.

22. Do you talk a lot?
with friends and family, yes. In social settings? I snort and grunt and have the sophistication of the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
hell yeah

24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
I mostly hate people, so yes. I try to not take it out on the panhandling people, though. I like to focus my blame on evil politicians, because they’re such easy targets.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Generally

26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
My husband

27. What is your ideal marriage location?
any beach except a Texas beach

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
saxophone

29. Favorite fabric?
that really thin flowy cotton that you can see through and thus never wear in public. Oh – and threadbare t-shirts. Basically any fabric that makes me feel as close to naked as possible.

30. Something you love and hate?
coffee

31. What kind of bedding do you use?
the regular kind

32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
not really

33. What’s the one language you want to learn?
russian. I know the basics, but damn I’m rusty.

34. How do you eat an apple?
crunchily

35. What do you order at a bar?
a margarita on the rocks

36. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
belly button, ears

More to come later. Aren’t you excited?

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