Newman he is born to

Newman

he is born to fetch
he was also born with ears
but they are no fun

I am such an asshole. Well, I’m hoping I’m not really, but deep down inside I think maybe I am.

My dog is sick. He gets chronic ear infections, but this time is the worst I’ve ever seen. His poor ear is all red and swollen and nasty with some kind of smelly funk. He’s constantly in pain and shaking his head and crying out. His left ear has these bald patches from scratching at it so much – and I’m pretty sure the reason why his ear is all red and swollen is because of the scratching not the actual ear infection. This is one of those things that a vet should have taken care of at least a week ago, but I didn’t take him in. Like I said, these infections are chronic and we just can’t afford to fork over $200 every three or four weeks for the meds. Plus, the medication doesn’t really work. It calms him down, which is good, but the infections all seem to be resistant, so they never really get better. I’ve been giving him children’s liquid benadryl, because the vet said that was OK, and it seems to help, but like I said, it doesn’t fix the actual problem.

Anyway, as the accountant of the house I know that we have no money to spare to go to the vet and buy medication that will only partially work. But as the mommy of the house, how can I not take him in? He’s miserable. I’ve made an appointment for this afternoon and I actually told the girl on the phone that we need to do this like filling up your gas tank. I’ll give them a hundred dollars. When the money runs out, top off the tank and we’re done. So I hope they can work with me. I feel like a jerk saying that, because when anyone in your family is sick – even your animals – you want to just throw the bank at getting them well. But I can’t. I really can’t.

So we’re going to the vet this afternoon. And I hope she doesn’t judge me, but I know she will… she’s a vet, how could she help it?

It’ll be me, a howling dog and a scared 2 year old. The dog not only has an ear infection (probably in both ears, though one is worse than the other), he has the longest nails you’ve ever seen. They’re like talons, curving under and everything. Again, this makes me look like an asshole for not taking care of my dog, but with the ear infections, if I cut his nails they’re extremely sharp and he’ll just scratch his ears to ribbons. At least the talons are dull, you know? Not only THAT, he’s managed to chew off these tiny patches of fur behind his front two legs. I have no idea if it’s a neurotic thing or if he got some ant bites or what, but it looks ridiculous – and again, like he’s some neglected animal and I’m a horrible person.

The dog is falling apart. Ears, talons, bare patches… a real mess. And the vet is going to be very nice, but inside she’s going to think I neglect my dog. And maybe I did by not bringing him to her sooner. I hate that my pocketbook dictates things like this. Of course, I also don’t understand why two weeks worth of medication for a dog has to cost $120.

Ah well, sorry for the bummer post. Wish poor Newman a speedy recovery. And hope that the vet doesn’t confiscate him from me and call the dog police.

Sigh.

Poor Newman.

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