streeeetch

stretching and sweating
sounds like healthy idea
so I’m skeptical

I have a friend who’s been trying to get me to take a yoga class for a long time. I actually have several friends who’ve tried to talk me into it. I even went so far as to buy some clothes and a mat and a couple of DVDs. Yet something is holding me back.

I really do like the idea of a good stretch. And I like the idea of fixing my posture and feeling healthier in general. I like that yoga is low-impact. (I don’t really like to bounce.) What I worry about is the whole "cleansing" aspect of it. I don’t know if I could take it seriously. I mean, I love that people cleanse their chi or whatever. I like the idea that a stretch can be emotionally and spiritually fulfilling in some way. But I don’t know if I would like for that to happen to me in a room full of other sweaty people.

Just yesterday my friend was trying to talk me into taking a yoga class. She said the room is dark and candle lit so I don’t have to worry about people seeing me falling on my ass. This I like. But then she said that it’s so spiritually cleansing that she cries every time. And I was all, "uh… that’s great." And I got a little uncomfortable which is weird, because I’m not one of those people that gets squicky around emotions. I’m all about a good cry. But the idea of exercise making me cry for metaphysical reasons (and not emergency room-related reasons), somehow freaks me out. I feel bad that it does. I WANT to go in a room and cleanse my chi, but I’m afraid I would make little jokes about it. I would screw with other people’s cleansing or whatever and then I would be disinvited from yoga and that would be embarrassing.

Plus, the yoga teacher is also the wee one’s dance teacher and that seems a little weird too. Especially if she’s going to cleanse my spirit or whatever.

Anyway. Does this make me closed-minded? I don’t want to be closed-minded. I want to enjoy a good stretch. But maybe not with the wee one’s hot dance teacher. Especially if I’m going to cry and fall on my ass. I prefer to do that in private. Though I may give in and give the class a try.

Peer pressure is a bitch.

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blah

sears catalog pose
not natural position
when in your undies

I

am

so

bored

today

I

can

hardly

stand

it

random

o lovely tuna
when mixed with mayo, pickles
you’re heaven on toast

the smell of fake wood
it’s worth a sneeze or fourteen
to give books a home

"service" light ignites
then it suddenly turns off
can ignore it, right?

a tinkle sticker
graces the back of my hand
wait. who’s being trained?

wee one cocks head, smiles
healthy snack surprise attack
wants "juicy apple"

faded bicycle
alone in the brown backyard
looks kind of forlorn

if those birds don’t quit
eating my new tomatoes
I will… well… be sad

do-gooder Clifford
always helping out others
he can kiss my butt

wait. it’s fall?

I want some cool clothes
nothing major, just short pants
this shouldn’t be hard

So.
It’s July.
It’s 105.
It’s Texas.

I went to, you know, buy some shorts because it’s effing hot. Guess what? Ain’t nobody got any shorts to sell. Only sweaters and jeans. There are some clearance "bermuda shorts" (aka: 1985 jams without the flowers) but no real shorts. Because apparently it’s Fall Shopping Season.

Right.

words

just makin’ stuff up
stunning creativity
and edibly cute

Before I forget these, I really need to write them down. So forgive me for sliding into the "aw isn’t that cute" mom thing. I can’t help it.

The wee one has a fairly big vocabulary for a three-year-old, and he’s easily understandable by strangers… most of the time. Lately he’s taken to mimicking words he hears – and he doesn’t always hear them right. When all else fails, he just makes a word (or a phrase) up. Here are a few of the stand-outs:

Amn’t: used as "are not" or "am not", also in lieu of "aren’t".
Example: "Wee One, are you finished with your dinner?"
                "No mommy, I amn’t. Can I have some more pasta?"

Dinner floss: "dental floss"
Example: "Mommy, I have pasta in my teeth. Can I have some dinner floss to get it out?"

Chocklick: "chocolate"
Example: "I ate ice cream, mommy, and now I have a chocklick tongue!"

Buzz Lightyear Suit: This has somehow come to mean "naked".
Example: "Wee One, why are you naked? We have guests."
                "I amn’t naked, mommy! I have on my Buzz Lightyear suit!"

um, yeah

if no can touchy
then keep toys off the sidewalk
cranky store owner

So, um, if you own a consignment shop and you want to sell your wares, and you put children’s toys out on the sidewalk in front of your store, and then children walk by and play with said toys, and this makes you mad?

Well, what it really makes you is a moron.

hmmm

funky stiff fingers
clenching fist carpal tunnel
repressing rage much?

I’ve just realized that when I read certain blogs and/or web sites I clench my fists. I had no idea I was doing this until my knuckles began to ache. This is weird, no?