You wanna?

let’s be creative
not with cooking or finance
but with good story

I’m gonna start a story and you guys can add on to it. Dorky? Yes. Fun? Oh yes.

Once upon a time there was a dog named Krystal Misty.
"Why," wondered Krystal Misty, "did my owners give me a double stripper name?"
It was a question that plagued her for a very long time. She didn’t feel like a stripper dog. She didn’t want to be a stripper dog. She even contemplated changing her name, but since she couldn’t talk, she had no way of telling her owners she wanted her new name to be "Shawna."

Krystal Misty was bummed. The other dogs made fun of her and hummed "bow-chicka-wow-wow" noises whenever she walked down the street. One day Krystal Misty had had enough. She flew out of her doggie door and

mantra

it’s our new saying
not very meditative
but it works OK

Our new family mantra is this:

"If there’s a potty you can poop in it."

I’m thinking of having it cross-stitched onto a throw pillow.

My new favorite show!

I would like to think
I might have discovered this
without the tivo

Thanks to the wonders of TiVo, I’ve discovered the most hilarious show ever. Well, maybe not EVER, but it’s cute and original and the art is lovely. I know I’m probably late to the bandwagon on this, but still… check it out: Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. Uber cool.

nature!

life death and eating
the front yard is so busy
nauseating me

I was minding my own business yesterday evening, when the wee one busted through the front door (he was in the yard with his daddy running off some excess energy).

"MOMMY!!!! COME LOOK!!!! A BUG IS EATING ANOTHER BUG!!!"

The wee one’s hair was on end he was so excited. So I left the comfort of my bug-free chair for the great wilds of the front yard. Sure enough, in the grass a hornet or wasp or something was devouring the biggest spider I’ve ever seen. It was horrifying… and really cool.

So I present to you:

Carniverous Bug From My Front Yard
(click the picture for a better look)

Img_3155

um, ok….

sensitive checker
at peace with triangle hair
well, um, not really

We went to the glorious HEB today to get some stuff for dinner. When it was our turn at the checkout counter, the wee one took one look at the checker and said, "He looks like a girl!" The checker didn’t really look like a girl (more like that one dude from Average Joe), but he did have curly triangle shaped hair and a headband, so I could see how the wee one was a bit mystified. Anyway, I quietly told the wee one it wasn’t nice to shout out that people look like girls (though as soon as I said that I wanted to take it back. It’s not the shouting that people look like girls that’s the problem, it’s the pointing at people and making loud comments that’s the problem.)

So the checker’s all, "What did he say?" because he heard my quiet reprimand. I just smiled and the wee one said, "Girls have curly hair." In his world, girls DO have curly hair, he doesn’t know any boys with longish curly hair. This seemed like a long explanation, so I just smiled and said to the wee one, "Boys have curly hair, too, silly."

The checker was mortified. He got all kinds of huffy and red in the face and said, "JESUS had long hair, did you ever think of that?"

It took every last ounce of my courage/patience/something for me to not bust out laughing. But I held it in. It should be more sad than funny that an 18-year-old grocery store clerk would be mortally offended by a three-year-old making an observation, but, well, the Jesus thing threw me. And the long hair thing. We weren’t even talking about that… it was the most hilarious thing that’s happened all week.

Ah, well, I still love HEB.

pretty

looks like Innerspace
an eyeball solar system
security breach?

Everyone? Meet my retina. Retina? Meet everyone.

(By posting this online will someone be able to make a copy of my retina
and use it to access my super secret security clearance codes of the
future? That might be bad.)

Right20050811101508

hee

etymology
it’s not the study of bugs
it’s study of "bugs"

I was just thinking about the word "movies". What a funny word. I mean it. It’s a laugh out loud funny word.

Movies.

If we used that word as a template for naming other things, we’d call cars "drivies" and food "eaties". We’d call chairs "sitties" (well, there are settees, but I don’t know the origin of the word). We’d call doors "openies" and shoes "walkies".

Isn’t that hilarious? I love it. But I’m dorky that way.