Mudder
don’t piss her off, doc
she has superhuman strength
that will freak you out
My grandma is sick. Pretty bad off sick from what I can tell. There’s like, a prayer chain or something.
Apparently, though, her illness has not diminished her scrappiness. In fact, because of the steroids they’re pumping her full of, she’s not just scrappy, she’s full on Mexican wrestler pissed off. She managed to physically fight off three teams of nurses who’ve tried to give her a feeding tube. And the doctor has asked the family to please stop visiting her, as our rag tag group of non-stop talkers makes her blood pressure skyrocket.
This admonishment hasn’t dissuaded me and my sister, though. We’ve booked our flight and are heading out to see her on Friday. If anything, maybe the sight of her far flung Texas granddaughters will stun her long enough to allow the nurses to get the feeding tube in.
The wee one is coming along for the adventure, though I’m not bringing him to the hospital. He’ll have grandparents and cousins and a million other folks to play with – he doesn’t need to be traumatized by tubes and masks and whatnot. Plus, I don’t the hospital lets little kiddos into the ICU.
Anyway, I would buy Mudder a Mexican wrestler mask if she would get the joke. But I don’t think she will. And she might start whacking me over the head with it anyway, given the stories I’ve been hearing about her "scrappiness" of late. She probably wants a baby-sized Corona and some Chicken in a Biscuit crackers.
I’ll see what I can do.
