Evil Dog

he acts so helpless
really, his brain is planning
how to make me nuts

What my dog is thinking right now:

"Wow! What a great day! I want to go outside and lay down in fire ants and soak up the sun!"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"That alpha mommy dog sure is nice letting me outside. Ah, this is the life."

3 minutes later

"Huh. It’s kind of hot. I wish I had a drink. Are these fire ants?"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"Thanks, alpha mommy dog for letting me back inside. Why are you making that face? This is how dogs smell. Damn, lady."

3 minutes later

"Wow! What a great day! I want to go outside and lay down in fire ants and soak up the sun!"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"That alpha mommy dog sure is nice letting me outside. Why did she give me that dirty look, though? Ah, this is the life."

3 minutes later

"Huh. It’s kind of hot. I wish I had a drink. Are these fire ants?"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"Thanks, alpha mommy dog for letting me back inside. What is up with with the dirty looks all of a sudden?"

3 minutes later.

"Wow! What a great day! I want to go outside and lay down in fire ants and soak up the sun!"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"Hey, hey, hey, why is alpha mommy dog trying to strangle me?"

3 minutes later

"Huh. It’s kind of hot. And I wish I had a drink. And are these fire ants?"

WHINE WHINE WHINE

"Uh, alpha mommy dog? I SAID, ‘whine whine whine.’ Hello? I SEE you in there at the table staring at me. WHINE WHINE WHINE. What is your deal lady?"

etc. ad nauseum.

I AM GOING TO GO INSANE AND IT WILL BE THE DAMN DOG’S FAULT.

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