whew

santa sighting: done
presents bought: almost all done
driven crazy: done

Sorry for that lame-ass haiku. I’m out of practice. I was going to spend forever and ever writing a terribly clever post but then I remembered I was supposed to go drop off my car at the mechanic’s at like 7:30 and it’s now just after 10 and I hope I won’t be in trouble and that they have not given away my loaner car, though if they have, I completely deserve it.

So, briefly:

Had the stomach flu or food poisoning or something. It sucked big time. Almost had to go to the hospital because I couldn’t get my fever down and even though 101.7 doesn’t sound bad, it is apparently tres bad if you are preggers. I’m better now, though, knock on wood, and have even started eating certain foods again. Yay!

Also, the wee one visited with Santa at the mall and requested both a tractor and a crane which was very shocking as I have it straight from Santa’s mouth that the wee one’s presents are all amassed and though they include an embarrassing amount of things, they do NOT include either of those requested items. Damn. Also, also, we had to wait in line for an hour and half to see Santa. What joyous fun that was.

There’s more, but I gots to run. Please, volvo man, be nice to me.

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ptooey

oceans of own slime
drown your tongue in crashing waves
this is fucking gross

I am so out of it. And as soon as I seem to be feeling a little better I have to go spit. Why? Because I’m having a problem with excess saliva. Who knew this was a pregnancy thing? It’s disgusting. My mouth is constantly filled with gobs of spit, that if I swallow, I gag on. Nice, huh? TMI? Too bad. My only hope is spitting like a baseball champ. I spit in the trash, in the sink, in napkins, paper towels, even once on the pavement in the Target parking lot. The wee one was tres impressed.

Right now I’m trying Jolly Ranchers to see if that helps. It at least flavors the Spit of Doom. Other than that, I have no way to fix it. My doctor helpfully suggested carrying around a spit cup. That sounds like the fabulous new accessory every attractive woman needs.

Urgh. So if I’m not blogging a lot lately, it’s because I’m trying not to drown in my saliva, or at least hork it all back up.

oh yeah

burnt orange roses
Bevo readies for road trip
Texas rules the world

showing up in buff
not as embarrassing as
showing up AS Buff

can you spare a dime?
or maybe a bunch of dimes?
rose bowl costs much cash

question

randomness of life
is more entertaining than
nearly anything

Just a few moments ago, the wee one set down his legos, walked up to me and asked "If you had an arrow in your butt and someone tried to take the arrow out of your butt, it would feel tender, wouldn’t it?" And the way he says "tender" (ten-dah) was the perfect way to end the question.

I answered in the affirmative – yes, it probably would be tendah. And he went back to his legos.