mother of the year

not that I forgot
it was the TIME I forgot
those are different

Uh, yeah, so I forgot to pick up the wee one at school today. Well, not forgot per se… I just, for some dumb reason, thought I was supposed to pick him up at 2:30 instead of 2:00. Even though every other time I’ve picked him up from school on a Thursday I’ve picked him up at 2:00.

So right around 2:17, I was farting around on the computer when it suddenly dawned on me that DUH, THE WEE ONE’S SCHOOL ENDS AT 2, MORON. I drove like 90 mph out of the neighborhood to go fetch him. Luckily his school is only about 3 minutes away. And even more luckily, I didn’t run anyone or any animals over in my hysteria.

The wee one was, of course, the last kid to be picked up. But he didn’t seem to notice. He had a lollipop and was helping the director clean up her office.

MAN.

Can I just say how bad I still feel? And to top it off, both of my phones – the land line and my mobile – are all jacked up today. So the school was trying to call, but to no avail. One busy signal and one straight to voicemail made them believe I had been possibly abducted or skipped town or something. When I got to the school I think they were just as relieved to see me as I was to see the wee one.

Then, on the way home, I drove past the turn off to our neighborhood. Totally missed it. And then I ate a Viactiv that was expired. And now I have to go the stupid pharmacy to spend more money on MORE FRIGGIN medicine, because the goddamned antibiotics that gagged me and gave me the poopies ALSO gave me a fucking yeast infection… wait for it… ON MY TONGUE (no jokes or I will come after you with a mean and pregnant vengeance).

So.

I’m a yeasty-tongued mother of the year. And if THAT doesn’t sound like Dixie Chicks song, I don’t know what does.

Fuck, y’all. Today sucks.

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