Get me off the crank

a spike in my eye
alan thicke makes me wish this
over and over

I am so cranky it’s become comical. I grumble, I grouse, I accidentally trip on things. My clothes are ill-fitting and my showerhead still sees fit to attack me.

It’s mid-April and it was 104 today. I shan’t need to explain why this made me cranky.

I had to file an extension for my taxes.

My Old Navy doesn’t carry maternity clothes, thus there are no tank tops big enough to fit my gargantuan tummy. Though it is legal to go topless in Austin, it is not legal for me to go topless in the suburb where I live, meaning I must find tank tops that fit my gargantuan body.

I am out of Cheetos.

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