done

swollen fingers, toes
the cankles have got to go
party is over

I think I’m over this whole "being pregnant" thing. My body feels like one of those Las Vegas hotels looks just seconds before its implosion – the quakey girders, the unstable foundation, the rippling roof. My bones feel like they’re about to just collapse in on each other. And I’ve gained 20 pounds LESS than when I was preggers with the Wee One.

In a really fun new development, all of the joints in my hands hurt like crazy. I don’t know if it’s carpal tunnel or something more insidious. But, dammit, waking up in the middle of the night with creaky, painful old lady hands sucks farts. Plus, my feet have stopped working, as they have turned into little cannonballs of pain. And my crotch bones are giving out on me. I don’t even know what crotch bones are (public bone?), but holy geez, my crotch is going to snap in two any second now.

Other than that, I’m excellent. I just hope someone, somewhere doesn’t find a mysterious t-shaped dynamite blower-upper box thing and give a countdown. The ensuing dust cloud of my implosion will block out the sun and probably cause a new ice age.

6 weeks to go. Or thereabouts.

And this post has nothing to do with the fact that my friend gave birth to her son on Monday and I got to go hold him yesterday and he mewed at me.

3 thoughts on “done

  1. Ha! I didn’t even see that. Usually the typo is the other way around.
    It IS a fairly public bone now that my entire midsection is the size of a volkswagon, though.

    Like

  2. Ha!
    I received your book from my bro- and sis-in-law for my my first (almost a) Mother’s Day and I LOVE IT! I am trying to savor the entries, but it’s addicting. I was looking your book up on Amazon so I could recommend it to the gals on pregnancy.org and am thrilled to have found your site!
    It seems we are due about the same time and I SO know what you mean about the crotch bones. I heard mine pop in two places the other night while rolling (hoisting) over. Amazingly, I slept better after that. What a joyous and weird time!
    I look forward to stopping by daily 🙂

    Like

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