Impatience? Prudence? No, these aren’t names we’ve chosen

all tucked up inside
is she comfy or just stuck?
probably comfy

Well, the choice is upon us. To induce or not. I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning to induce, but I’m free to cancel it at any time. I didn’t want to make the appointment in the first place because I was sure she’d be born by tomorrow, but it looks like my maternal instincts were off by a bit (heck, I thought she’d be born three weeks ago!).

The induction won’t be for medical reasons – I mean, there’s nothing bad happening that requires us to force her out of her womby nest. We know she’s big… probably in the 8-9 pound range, but there’s no way to know exactly how big. The wee one was 8lbs 7 oz, so the fact that this gal is a biggun isn’t a surprise, and it it isn’t really a factor in my ability to push her out, at least I don’t feel like it is.

The induction would be for my comfort, the comfort of my pelvis, and the fact that my doc is on call tomorrow and then out of town all the next week, so I’ll end up with the on call doc if I don’t go tomorrow. I don’t really think that’s a big deal – I had an on call doc when the wee one was born. Of course I also had an episiotomy that didn’t heal for 8 months, a tear, and a vacuum extraction. Who’s to say it would have been different with my doc? I don’t know.

Then there’s the whole pitocin thing. I’m already at almost 4 cm and 80% effaced, so my doc says we won’t need a lot of the stuff to get the show going. And he thinks the baby will be born in just a few hours. Of course he’s the one who’s been telling me for THREE WEEKS she’ll be born any second now, so I don’t necessarily believe his sugar plums and daisies prediction of a four hour labor and delivery.

I’m not crazy about doing pitocin. Though I had it with the wee one, once they found meconium, and honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Of course, I also had an epidural. The epidural worked well enough to take the edge off, but I could feel everything from when to push to when the slice was made for the episiotomy. That didn’t really bother me, though. I was happy to not be completely numb – to feel the amazing process of birthing a baby. But I’m afraid I had some kind of strange and rare and mystical pitocin/epidural /birthing experience and this time it will be a nightmare if I willingly invite the pitocin.

Ah, well. I guess I won’t be able to make a decision until the very last second. But I’m definitely conflicted, and I don’t want to cause my wee gal any permanent emotional scarring by forcing her into the world if she’s not ready yet. Is that silly? Then again, I also would really like to be able to move my legs again. And to meet my baby girl. Ah, impatience. Maybe that should be my name.

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