should be hooked up to my brain
to prove I’m not nuts
You know how when someone is out of the office you get that MS Outlook (or Entourage) Out of Office Reply – the auto-response to your email letting you know that whomever you’re trying to contact is off sunning themselves at the beach?
I really need one of these for real life conversations. As soon as someone comes up to me and starts asking questions that don’t have anything to do with babies, sleeping, lactating, nipples, or poop, my mouth should open and say, "I’m sorry, Kari’s brain is only processing at 5% of it’s usual capacity. In a few weeks, we should be back to the regular 7%. Please be patient." And then the conversation can continue.
These would be good, too:
"I’m sorry, Kari’s brain can only compute poop at the moment. Please try again in a few days."
"Kari’s brain is out of complete sentences right now. Try back next week and you might even get subject verb agreement!"
"The brain you are trying to contact has already fired its daily allotment of synapses. Please try again tomorrow."
I seriously need these. And I need them for email, too.