We crazy

seller pays buyer?
hope we don’t have to do that
will it be a wash?

We signed the papers today to put our house on the market. I think this means we’re crazy. I can’t keep the house clean just to keep MYSELF happy. I can’t imagine keeping it clean enough to woo a buyer. Of course the keeping it clean comes after the de-cluttering part, which, excuse me, but, HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’ll have to buy a whole damn extra new house just to declutter this house so we can sell it and buy the actual house we want to live in.

But we’re going to try. And we’re going to try really hard. It sure would be nice for my husband to not have a bitch ass gnarly commute. And it would be nice to move back into the land where independent bookstores and yummy breakfast tacos and university libraries and the children’s museum are all accessible without a 40-minute drive through the hellmouth.

Wow. I don’t even know why we have a Realtor. I’m doing such a good job of selling this place, right now, aren’t I?

My television just said "decreasing semen". Why did the TV just say that? This is why I’ve stopped watching the news. It’s all war, war, war, commercial about some drug with the side effect of decreasing semen, war, war, war, commercial about erectile dysfunction, human interest story so we don’t all get too depressed, commercial about priapism, weather.

I’ve completely forgotten about what I was originally talking about.

Oh yeah. As soon as we declutter the house and call PODS to haul our shit away, a sign is going in the yard and we’re going sell this sucker. It has a very nice backyard and lots of colorful paint. It does not cause a decrease in semen or war. I think I’m going to put that on the flier.

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One thought on “We crazy

  1. The house next to mine is going on the market soon. Wanna be my neighbor? (We live in the land of breakfast tacos and independent bookstores.)

    Like

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