why we don’t talk religion
or word origins
The other day, while I was driving the wee one home from school, he asked me what fangs are. Here’s how the conversation rapidly went down hill…
[me, beginning the conversation genially] "Fangs? You mean like teeth?"
[the wee one, frustration setting in early due to what I call Tired Post School Temper Trouble or TPSTT] "No, FANGS, mommy. The things you have IN people."
[me, trying to stay genial] "Like ‘sink your fangs into’ something? Sometimes people say that when they mean to take a bite out of something."
[the wee one, bubbling over with TPSTT] "NO, MOMMY! Like we learned at school! Fangs. FANGS!"
[me, getting irritated that he’s irritated] "OK. You shouting it at at me over and over? That doesn’t make me understand you any easier, alright?
[the wee one, sighing dramatically] "I’m just talking about fangs. The kind of fangs that purple stands for."
[he continues, as if talking to the most pitiful, dumb creature on the planet] "At school, Mrs. Linda says that purple stands for fangs. And that we have fangs in God."
[me, ding ding ding!] "You mean faith? We have faith in God?"
[the wee one, thrilled I finally understand him, gets excited] "So we’re like vampires for God?"
[me, giving up] "Yes. We’re like vampires for God."
This is what I get for sending him to a quasi-religious preschool.