The big 0-5

has it been five years?
sweet baby now my sweet boy
except for his feet

The wee one is 5 today! Technically, he’s not 5 until just after 7pm, but I’ll spot him the few extra hours. I know it’s cliche, but MAN I can’t believe how fast time has gone by. I remember when he was born, looking down at him and thinking, "you’ll be in kindergarten before I know it, won’t you?" and sure enough, here we are.

But first we have a summer of Aqua Raiders Legos and Playmobil pirate ships and swimming in the community pool and time outs for not listening and so much more.

How did he get so big?

Happy birthday, wee one!

Weeone5

Jellyfish!

almost alien
glowing in the inky black
can I bring you home?

We went to the Georgia aquarium today. These jellies were so amazing – they had these different colored glowing lights streaming through their tiny bodies. It was like the critters from The Abyss – but real.

Yay for real water-based sci-fi things!

Jellyfish

“Don’t let him jump on me, I have a penis infection!”

vacation begins
bathing suit spots taking hits
let fun begin, too?

After a truly crazy busy week, the kiddos and I have finally arrived in Atlanta, mostly unscathed from our travels. Even after an unsettling few days where various doctors tried to suss out which gasket I blew from coughing my brains out, I think things are calming down.

Just FYI, coughing fits can apparently cause you to blow out an ovarian cyst and/or pull a muscle. We still haven’t figured out if I did both or not, but I can tell you that regardless, stabbing pains in one’s left side are no fun. I suggest avoiding violent coughing fits as much as possible.

Also, FYI, when your soon to be five-year-old gets some kind of scratch on his penis and requires some triple antibiotic ointment, don’t make a big deal about "preventing infection" because the only thing he’ll hear is "infection" and then he’ll insist on telling everyone he meets that he has a penis infection. It will also be the first thing he shouts as he arrives at your sister’s house and her dogs runs toward him.

"Don’t let him jump on me, I have a penis infection!"

We’re going to make up some t-shirts, I think.

Anyway, despite our TMI troubles, we’re here in hotlanta, enjoying the smoke-filled air and the never-ending supply of Hershey’s kisses, Cokes and grandparents. Huzzah!

Now, if only I could get the wee-er one to sleep and the wee one to stop talking about penis infections, we might actually be able to visit some of out relations. Or, you know, go out in public.

wee one-a-palooza

just so many things
perfect storm of craziness
will he recover?

Preschool graduation? Check.

Dance recital? Check.

Birthday party? On target for tomorrow.

Airplane ride to visit grandparents? Coming up in three days.

Could any more exciting things happen to an almost five-year-old in such a short period of time? No WONDER he’s been a beast the past two days. A happy, spoiled, super cute beast.

I’d be living more in the moment right now if I hadn’t spent the last four days coughing so hard I’m pretty sure I made one of my ovaries explode. Ouch. Two trips to urgent care have brought no relief and a referral for an ultrasound that I can’t get until Monday. In the meantime I will continue to feel like my girly organs are being ripped out of my body every time I cough. And I will bake a birthday cake. And pack for our trip. And try not to pass out. Did I say ouch? Ouch.

Play!

music for the kids
does not have to wiggle, squeak
wee rock is OK

A million years ago I got a CD for the wee one (for free, woo!) and I told the nice CD people that I’d mention it on the blog if I liked it.

Well, liked it, I did (and Yoda talk it makes me apparently). And the wee one loves it. Even the wee-er one is happy to bob her head along to the music, though it isn’t as hardcore as she typically likes.

I asked the wee one what his favorite song is and – this should surprise no one – it’s Mudhoney’s I Like to Make Noise and Break Things. "It’s really loud and it talks about breaking things!" he shouts with glee. Then he looks sideways at me and says, "But it doesn’t MAKE me want to break things." Ah, I’ve trained him well.

We also enjoy Picnic by Young Fresh Fellows even though, for the wee one, it counts as a purely magical mystical song and it doesn’t encourage him to eat healthy or even think of healthy foods. He thinks it’s hilarious that a song might be about food. I guess that is kind of hilarious.

Anyway, we really like Play. And I’m happy to support indie artists trying to make kids music that doesn’t suck. You can check it out here – there are even a couple of songs to listen to. For free. Hurrah!

Happy Day, Mama’s!

bra-less and sunburned
eating donuts on the porch
feels like vacation

I’m usually good about not getting sunburned, unless I’m at a football game or on vacation. Yesterday, I was at neither and yet I still managed to scorch my back bright red like some kind of yankee hot dog.

So I’m enjoying my Mother’s Day slathered in lidocaine-infused aloe. It automatically makes me feel more relaxed, because the only time I use that stuff is at the beach. Ha. Who knew the secret to total relaxation was to cover oneself in medicated goo and sit on the porch, pretending that the train going by is really ocean waves?

I’m off to continue my beach bound fantasy. But first I’m going to grab a Krispy Kreme and my sunglasses. Call me hillbilly, if you must, but sunburned, porch rocking, donut eating is the ONLY way to spend a Sunday morning.

I hope y’all enjoy your Day of Mother’s as much as I’m enjoying mine….

it’s not easy being green

offset emissions
maybe just stop eating beans
forget CFLs

Well, we went out and bought a giant box of CFLs, thinking that we are now on the road to being green badasses. Then I put the bulbs into my kitchen light fixture and -sigh- I HATE THEM.

It’s like living in an all night diner or an emergency room or possibly a dressing room at Macy’s. They are blinding and they hang down too long from the light coverings so it looks like my light fixture is made up of upside down nuclear ice cream cones. Did I mention I hate them? I HATE THEM.

We bought the "warm" kind, so they do kind of give off a faint pink glow, but that doesn’t offset the yucky fluorescent-ness. Boo. I’m with Kermit on this one.

I did find this site, though, that seems pretty awesome. You can search for exactly what kind of bulb would make you squeal in glee and then see examples and reviews.

I just blogged about light bulbs, didn’t I? My life is incredibly interesting and glamorous.

I’m that mom

selfishness wins out
innapppropriate music
plays loud all day long

Can I just say how incredibly fantastic Amy Winehouse is? Her blues-y, retro, emotion-infused music has become my soundtrack for the past week or so. It’s like listening to a really pissed off Sarah Vaughn – but you only hear the pissed off-ed-ness if you listen to the lyrics. Otherwise, it’s lovely 50’s girl band kind of music with a tad of Big Band and a sneeze of soul. That kind of smooth and then kicky melody, juxtaposed with sailor-mouth lyrics creates such a fabulous, hilarious irony, I can hardly stand it.

Any song that starts off with a slow-moving, easy big band sound with lyrics that coo, "What kind of fuckery is this?" is A-OK in my book.

I. Love. It.

I just hope I’m not ruining my kids forever by listening to it over and over again. Pesky kids.

Also? I apologize for my completely horrible way of describing music. I am a lame music describer (Describist?). What can I say?