$&*!#@

I pine for your suck
where art thou, fancy vacuum?
the stairs, they need you

I was sitting here, trying to think of something witty to blog about, but really I’m just very grouchy. I don’t know why, but I suspect it has something to do with not leaving the house all week and yet still having piles of crap everywhere.

There’s some kind of snowball effect of not leaving the house, of having no playdates, of too much TV, and not enough groceries. Instead of snapping to it and cleaning the kitchen, washing some laundry, making a few beds, basically prettying up the place a bit, I just stare at it all and try to wish it away.

I sit at the kitchen table and grouse about too salty pumpkin seeds and no brownies. I sit in the living room and grimace at the filthy carpet. I lay on my bed and close my eyes so I don’t have to stare a piles of dirty clothes. I go online and buy a vacuum but make no note of when it will be shipped.

Why not get off my ass, then, and take care of some of this? I have no answer. I know I’ll feel better if the house looks better. But right now it’s oppressive. And the more suffocated I feel by all of the crap, the more I want to just sleep all day and forget about it. It’s much like the extreme heat effect you get out here in Texas. When you step outside and it’s 95 or 100 degrees, you feel the air being sucked out of your lungs; you feel the heat burn your eyeballs; your body’s physical response is to curl up in a ball and lay down and wait for everything to cool off. This is how I feel in my house. Not hot, but suffocated.

I know the wee one isn’t very happy with me, either. Because of his weird vomiting spell earlier in the week, I’ve canceled the playdates we set up. I just want to make sure there’s nothing festering before we slobber all over other kids, you know? But this means we’ve had SO MANY DAYS of not playing with other kids. That leaves me and the wee-er one as play mates for the wee one. Neither one of us appreciate wrestling, and I can only play pirates for so many hours before I want to become one myself and ship off, alone, for uncharted islands.

Next week the wee one has a half-day camp every day. I hope he likes it, but I’m afraid he’s going to be so excited to play with other kids his giant head will explode. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen. And fingers crossed that the wee-er one’s four lateral incisors FINALLY come all the way in so that she will fucking sleep. Oh my God I am so tired of waking up every hour all night long and then being up for good at 6am.

Man, I have to shake this funk. I guess the best way to do it is to clean house and then get the hell out of it for a while. Can’t write a book while I’m grouchy. Well, I could write a grouchy book, but that’s not what I have to work on right now.

Hmph.

Oh, here’s one good thing – The Loop is returning to Fox on Sunday. Crapsnackers, that’s exciting!

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4 thoughts on “$&*!#@

  1. I get stuck in these loops as well, seemingly unable to fix the very cause of my malaise. For me, it’s getting outside with people (which can be hard when you have a sick kid). Too much time in the house just makes me a depressed, anxious monkey.
    Go outside and play!

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  2. I hear ya! Our wee-er one has had the nose snot all week and our wee-one has been bouncing off the walls. Finally, a trip to Target with a stop off at Starbucks helped ease a little bit of our cabin-fever. As I sit here and type this, I have a load of laundry in the dryer waiting to be folded, the dogs need baths, the patio is filthy, and the kitchen floor is a bit sticky…

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  3. To Clean up FAST try this:
    get large-ish box.
    Sweep everything from offending surface into box.
    Move box to extra room.
    Sort later when you have energy.
    Clean spaces make calm minds…
    Feeling you on this. So, instead of cleaning we’re moving 🙂
    Voila. problem solved. Just move. again.

    Like

  4. To Clean up FAST try this:
    get large-ish box.
    Sweep everything from offending surface into box.
    Move box to extra room.
    Sort later when you have energy.
    Clean spaces make calm minds…
    Feeling you on this. So, instead of cleaning we’re moving 🙂
    Voila. problem solved. Just move. again.

    Like

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