Resistance is futile

lots of legs, some fur
extra eyes and even wings
not the pets you want

I’ve been resisting pest control for a while now. My husband wants to sign a contract for regular, quarterly death raids on our unwelcome critters, and I’ve been holding out. I’m not a fan of poison, really, especially with kids and a puppy.

But oh, how the times they are a changin’.

Strike number one for my environmental/anti-poison crusade: scorpion on the stairs
Strike number two: roach skittering across the floor
Strike number three: tarantula on the wee one’s slide in the backyard

Seriously. Tarantulas and scorpions? Not cool. I mean, what the hell? Do we live in the Wild West? No. Is this a horror movie? No. Are we in an episode of Planet Earth: Heebie Jeebies? No. We just happen to live in a new neighborhood, across the street from a pond. That pesky pond.

Oh, and I didn’t even mention the stealthy fire ants that attacked the wee one’s feet the other day. And the wasps on the front porch. And the cricket the wee-er one almost ate. I mean, come on. If the creepy crawlies are going to lay siege to my house, then I’m going to be forced to fight back.

Hear that scorpions, tarantulas, ants, roaches and other sundry disgusting critters? I’m coming after ALL your asses. Well, I’m going to hire a dude to come after you, but whatever. SOMEONE’S coming after you, so clear out, before it’s too late.

Shock and awe, baby. Shock and awe.

5 thoughts on “Resistance is futile

  1. I was about to say the same thing. Aztec. We had the scorpion treatment about 6 years ago. We used to have mucho scorpions, like almost every morning there would be new ones in the kitchen. After Aztec, nada. I saw my first scorpion this year, and will book another round with them.


  2. Oh, man. I never saw a real, live scorpion until I found one that was about 4 inches long when I put my bare, unsuspecting foot into one of my Keds when I was visiting my dad in Austin. It was during the Iran-Contra hearings, and to this day I can’t look at Ollie North without envisioning all kinds of creepy crawlies. Kill ’em all. Scorpions, of course… not Republicans. 😉 And yes, the Keds were in my bedroom closet, not outside. Even scarier.


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