Right now the wee-er one has the dog’s leash wrapped around her baby doll’s neck and she’s dragging the baby doll throughout the house. My living room is much like some kind of Toys R Us version of a BDSM bordello or maybe Abu Graib.

Every now and then the wee-er one will stop her rounds, pick up the baby doll, scream at her in a very frustrated way, throw her repeatedly on the floor and then continue dragging her around.

I knew we should never have let her watch those torture porn Saw movies. (Just kidding. It was Agent Cody Banks. Which is worse? You tell me.)