some things are just fair
others are necessities
why not legislate?
I was thinking this morning about things that should be laws. Here’s what I have so far. Feel free to add your own…
- Any business open before 7:30 AM and/or after Midnight, shall be required by law to provide or sell fresh and yummy breakfast tacos
- Any toy that plays music, makes noise or is otherwise audible shall be required by law to have volume control. All toys that make noise shall also be equipped to produce fresh and yummy breakfast tacos.
- All household pets shall be required to "make their business" outdoors, unless they are cats and they are litter box trained. Furthermore, if the phrase "make your business" or "do your business" is used between 7:30 AM and Noon or after Midnight, said household pet shall be required by law to provide fresh and yummy breakfast tacos for the human forced to accompany pet outside.
- All school bus stops shall be required to provide a dude with a breakfast taco cart, and/or a vending machine that serves fresh and yummy breakfast tacos. This shall be offered between the hours of 6:30 AM and 8 AM. If the school bus does not arrive, said breakfast tacos shall be free with a cup of orange juice added in for punitive damages.
- Any driver who cuts off another driver, tailgates another driver, weaves through traffic with the stupid idea that one lane moves faster than the other, gets off the highway only to get right back on, refuses to allow other cars to merge, or otherwise acts like an asshole, shall be required to provide all affronted drivers with fresh and yummy breakfast tacos. There are no time constraints for this law.
- Any and all computers manufactured after 2006 must be fitted or retrofitted with a "fresh and yummy breakfast taco" button that when pressed between 6 AM and Noon or Midnight and 4 AM, provides the computer owner a fresh and yummy breakfast taco. Owner’s identity shall be verified through biometrics so that no one can steal his or her fresh and yummy breakfast taco.
- An amendment to the Constitution shall be added: "A well fed population being necessary to the security of a free
State, the right of the People to keep and bear fresh and yummy breakfast tacos shall not be