I’m poop’s cute chauffeur
ferrying feces to, fro
all in a day’s work
There’s a small chance the wee one may have a parasite. Awesome. So to test for said parasite the wee one must poo into a layer of saran wrap plastered across the toilet. Then I (or my spouse) have the enviable task of digging around in the poo and scooping chunks of it into two vials given to us by the friendly neighborhood pediatrician.
We have to do this for three days.
So far we have two poos down and one to go (so to speak), but now that the week has begun I’m not so sure we’re going to catch that third, wily poo. School is a long day and the wee one has no qualms pooping anywhere at anytime. Ordinarily this is a good thing. But now that I am the Supreme Poop Spelunker I don’t really want to stretch this drama out any longer than necessary.
Now the question is: do I ferry the feces to the lab, incomplete, thus forcing myself to make two consecutive days of poop runs (again, so to speak), or do I wait for the last, taunting poo and just deliver it all together? If I go today, maybe they can test the two days worth of poo and we’ll get lucky and not have to wait around for day three. There’s a lot of ifs and buts hanging on that wish, though.
And by the way? The wee one loves this drama. He is so excited to watch me (or his daddy – we draw straws) dig around in his poo and fill up the "science-y tubes" with it. He thinks that we are all now scientists.
Also, because my husband and I were so shocked by the size of the wee one’s poo, the wee one has now learned to say "man-turd." As in, "Mommy says I make man-turds. I’m so grown up now." I’m sure this is going over very well at school right now.
Where’s that Dirty Job’s guy when you need him?