honk honk ashoo

life imitates art
glad head is not pillow, though
too stuffy for me

The wee one has a book – The Story of Honk Honk Ashoo and Swella Bow Wow, by Frank Cosentino. It’s about a little dude who’s head is a pillow, and the sweet little dog he becomes friends with.

I feel a little like Honk Honk Ashoo today, floppy-headed and stuffy. And every time I sit down I fall asleep. I had one of these brief narcoleptic moments just a few minutes ago, and in the five minutes I was asleep I actually had a very short dream about milkshakes.

So. Tired.

I think it may be time to wean the wee-er one. She’s 19 months on Friday, and as much as I love the closeness of nursing, I do not love the nursing at night. I am so over the nursing at night. O. Ver. It. Also, she has just started this thing where when she nurses she reaches into my shirt and pinches and scratches and claws at the skin on the outside of my armpit – right in the crook of my arm. My arm crooks are raw. It sucks.

I don’t know how long it will take to wean, but I’m very tempted to just run away for a weekend and see if it resolves itself. I somehow doubt that, though.

So it’s back to being a fluffy-headed Honk Honk Ashoo doppleganger.

And that is the coolest looking sentence I’ve written in a long time.

today’s a big day

so many candles
to float in a Corona
who needs birthday cake?

Happy birthday to my grandma! She has no idea what a blog is, nor does she probably care. But in the spirit of celebrating a remarkable feat, it seems like a blog-worthy announcement.

Mudder is 84 today. I wish we could be there with her to celebrate.

I’ll have a beer for you tonight, Mudder. Hope your day is swell.

I’m afraid to say this out loud, but….

what a gorgeous day
early springtime makes me smile
also, kids are gone

I’m home alone right now. For at least an hour, probably more. My husband has taken the kids to the grocery store, in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday. He loves me very much.

I have on a shirt that’s kind of hot (in a sexy way, not a sweaty way). My hair looks good. I’ve spent at least an hour in the sun, reading a great book (The City of Ember, by Jeanne DuPrau – awesome). I’m listening to New Soul by Yael Naïm, and pretending that one day I can afford a Macbook Air.

My stomach does not hurt. I do not want to strangle anyone in my family. In short, I feel good. It’s been a long time since I felt a simple happiness like I feel today.

To be honest, it scares me. Feeling good seems to always portend bad shit – like Nature or God or the tiny baby Jesus or whomever, is trying to butter you up before the inevitable disaster. But maybe, Nature, or God, or the tiny baby Jesus is saying sorry for such an incredibly fucking shitty week last week. Maybe they are making amends.

For that I say thank-you.

For that I say whatever the vocal equivalent is of falling prostrate onto a blanket out in the yard and feeling the sun ravage my face as I smile and think that wrinkles are definitely worth it.

the news


I do not have appendicitis


I seem to be having a week long panic attack centered in my stomach


No one has a fever and the wee one is back at school


I have lost an entire week of editing


It is Friday


Monday is three days away


I slept until 8:45 this morning, and so did the wee-er one


The wee-er one will not nap


Someone searched for my blog using the terms "amy winehouse separated at birth camel"


I just realized Amy Winehouse does look a little bit like a camel


The Texas primary might actually be of some importance this year


I haven’t re-registered to vote since the move


There is no ice storm


It won’t stop raining


I am wearing a soft purple t-shirt


It has mac and cheese all over it




Unable to figure out how to end this post

trying out housewifey-ness

me and Donna Reed
baking, swearing and laundry
two peas in a pod

Today I am being a housewife. This, I think, will get the kids back on the road to recovery. I am baking banana bread, folding clothes, and planning to make a very scaled down vinegar and baking soda volcano for the pleasure of the wee one. I am wearing a necklace.

This day is so shocking to everyone, you would think that instead of organizing the pantry and wearing a clean shirt, I set my hair on fire and then grew seventeen-inch rainbow-colored horns.

Whatever. As long as they are shocked into getting better, it’s all good. If I have to, I’ll dig up some old black pumps and prance around with the vacuum cleaner. I’m going to scare the germs right out of those rascals. Why not?

I would also like to say that so far, things might actually be looking up. No one has a fever, the wee-er one ate lunch for the first time in a week, and I have yet to throw anything or scream an obscenity out of frustration and/or exhaustion.

Is it the Donna Reed impression that’s doing it, or the introduction of penicillin into the fray?

Maybe it’s a heady cocktail of pearls and pills. That sounds like the name of a new blog, doesn’t it?

no time

never any time
and yet I sit on my butt
awaiting trouble

I have so much to do. Work, laundry, all of the things everyone always has to do. But instead I’m blogging and worrying, two of my most treasured past times.

For your enjoyment…

Worry Number 1:
Does the wee-er one have the flu, or just a weird, random, fever-y virus? She’s had her flu shots, but I’ve heard the strain that some people are getting this year is different from the one in the shots. I hate to take her to the doctor if she doesn’t have the flu, because she’ll just pick it up when we’re there. On the other hand, if she does have it, then I want to get going with the anti-virals.

Worry Number 2:
That I am an asshole. And that by wanting to transfer my son out of his neighborhood school into a different school with more opportunities and smaller classes that I am turning my back on a school that needs community involvement, and that I am implicitly racist. But can I shoulder the burden of a neighborhood school all on my own? Can I deny my son extra opportunities that he wouldn’t get where he’s at now just because I’m taking a stand politically and socially? Or can I be confident that transferring him really is the best option for us, and that the decision is not a personal attack on anyone’s socio-economic status?

I’ve been thinking about both of these things way too much. Mama needs a xanax and a vacation.