playing hide and seek
fun game to play with your kids
not with viruses

Dear Wonky Virus,

Normally, I like to start out these letters in a friendly sort of way. Throw out a few compliments, offer some self-deprecating humor, ingratiate my target a bit and then WHAM, get all nasty in a deft A-A-B move (if you play Lego Star Wars on the Wii, you know what I mean. If, Wonky Virus, you have no hands, as I suspect, and cannot play the Wii, A-A-B is a fancy Jedi move that tosses you up into a flying somersault and then STABS your light saber into the ground – or your victim – with  stunningly destructive results).

Today, I’m skipping straight to the A-A-B, asshole.

Plainly put, we don’t like you, Wonky Virus. We want you to go away. Set up shop somewhere else. Skeedaddle. Vamoose. GO AWAY. And when I say "go away" I mean for real. None of this "disappear for twelve hours and then show up again in the form of a 103.4 degree fever" bullshit. Get on out of here. Don’t come back.

It’s been four days that you’ve been able to enjoy residence within the walls of the wee-er one. And now she’s tired of you. We’re all tired of you. It’s time for her to eat again. It’s time for her to sleep again. It’s time for her to not be burning up from the inside out. You’ve had plenty of time to do whatever it is you need to do, and now it’s time for you to move along.

Do you hear me, Wonky Virus?! Do you?!




concerned mother


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