Hi there. It’s cold and rainy today, huh? I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s not crappy weather – just the last little hint of winter before a beautiful Texas springtime.
But it’s pretty crappy.
Anyway, I saw you standing out in the cold rain this morning, jabbing into a giant puddle with a stick. I guess you were trying to figure out why the street wasn’t draining properly. That’s a pretty important job, otherwise we’d all hydroplane or get trapped in three feet of water as we cross the intersection. I totally respect your job and understand that it’s a shit thing to have to do, standing on the corner of a busy intersection, in the cold rain, jabbing at muck in a puddle.
I just wanted you to understand that I appreciate your hard work, and I understand the effort it must take for you to do your job – especially on days like today.
So, Mr. City Worker, I’m really, really sorry I splashed you. Like completely drenched you from at least the chest down. I couldn’t get over into the other lane because of a big ass truck. I thought I was going slow enough to maybe just catch your shoes. Alas, I drowned you in street puddle muck. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I don’t know why you didn’t step away when you saw the light turn green – I think maybe you were distracted by talking on the phone. It doesn’t matter, though, I should have been driving slower. Does it help at all that I didn’t realize the puddle was so deep? Does it help that I was going under 15 mph on purpose, to try and NOT drench you? Probably not. You looked really pissed.
Sorry, dude. I hope you had some dry pants in your truck. I also hope you didn’t take down my license plate number to seek revenge on me and all my living relatives.