Haiku hits the road

bags are almost packed
children are rife with disease
it’s vacation time!

We are leaving in the morning for 6 days of insanity in Vegas. And when I say "insanity" I don’t mean staying up all night and gambling and drinking and flirting with strippers. I mean staying up all night with a toddler who won’t sleep, being scared of how roulette works (and really wanting to play craps, but being scared of that, too), drinking lots of vitamin water, and flirting with disaster.

We’re going to try to tour the marshmallow factory, kick it old school at the Hoover Dam, and do our best to not look like hillbilly slobs at the fancy wedding.

I can’t believe we’re actually going. On an airplane. To the desert. With children. For that long!

The house is clean-ish, the bags are packed-ish, the reservations almost all printed out. The dog is being left in crazy capable hands. Plans have been made for the leftovers in the fridge.

It’s really happening. Me! Going on vacation! Of course I’m going to try to blog while we’re there, who could resist blogging from Vegas? But the place we’re staying doesn’t offer access to the interwebs for free (what?!), so maybe I can steal a wifi signal somewhere.  Or, your know, use one legally. Whatever. What I’m saying is – stay tuned.

I know that what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas, but what fun is that?

Dear City Worker,

Hi there. It’s cold and rainy today, huh? I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s not crappy weather – just the last little hint of winter before a beautiful Texas springtime.

But it’s pretty crappy.

Anyway, I saw you standing out in the cold rain this morning, jabbing into a giant puddle with a stick. I guess you were trying to figure out why the street wasn’t draining properly. That’s a pretty important job, otherwise we’d all hydroplane or get trapped in three feet of water as we cross the intersection. I totally respect your job and understand that it’s a shit thing to have to do, standing on the corner of a busy intersection, in the cold rain, jabbing at muck in a puddle.

I just wanted you to understand that I appreciate your hard work, and I understand the effort it must take for you to do your job – especially on days like today.

So, Mr. City Worker, I’m really, really sorry I splashed you. Like completely drenched you from at least the chest down. I couldn’t get over into the other lane because of a big ass truck. I thought I was going slow enough to maybe just catch your shoes. Alas, I drowned you in street puddle muck. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I don’t know why you didn’t step away when you saw the light turn green – I think maybe you were distracted by talking on the phone. It doesn’t matter, though, I should have been driving slower. Does it help at all that I didn’t realize the puddle was so deep? Does it help that I was going under 15 mph on purpose, to try and NOT drench you? Probably not. You looked really pissed.

Sorry, dude. I hope you had some dry pants in your truck. I also hope you didn’t take down my license plate number to seek revenge on me and all my living relatives.

Yee haw!

birth of a nation
it still seems to be sovereign
nowhere else like it

Today is Texas Independence Day! There are many celebratory shenanigans going on around town today, and I was lucky enough to get caught in all the terrible traffic. Next time I need to go downtown to take back a shirt, remind me to not do it on Texas Independence Day.

Anyway, hooray for Texas! And even though the Alamo fell AFTER the Texas constitution was written, and even though there was that big scary battle in Goliad AFTER the Alamo (where Texas once again got its ass kicked), eventually Santa Ana got the whooping he deserved and Texas became its own nation. For ten years, Texas was its own country, and then it joined the good ol’ USA.

Are you bored to tears, yet? Hopefully not. Texas history is fascinating and crazy and just flat out fun to read about. I know, I know, how dorky can a girl get, but I’m serious.

Just look into Ma and Pa Ferguson, Pappy O’ Daniel, King Ranch, James Bowie, David Crockett… I could on and on. (In fact, just another dorky note here, much of the high schools in Austin are named after these guys. There’s even a middle school named after O. Henry.)

So happy Texas Independence Day, folks. Have a Lone Star, eat some Tex-Mex, get into a fistfight over whether or not Bevo could kick Reveille’s ass, and have yourself a good day.