It’s ba-ack…

don’t let your guard down
but stop blaming yourself, too
it’s hard to gestate

The short story is: the bleeding is back. But the doc says everything is a-OK and Mystery Baby is doing just fine.

The long story is: WTF? I was minding my own business, getting the wee-er one to take a nap when WHUSH, a tsunami of blood ushers forth instant panic and a really big mess. The really Twilight Zone part of it all is that I was wearing the same outfit I had on the first time this happened. Not only that, but the morning had been eerily similar. Nothing, of course, that I can really attribute to the bleeding. I mean, I didn’t spend both days lifting cars and pulling semi-trucks with a harness. But still. A little creepy.

So there’s the WHUSH. And this time was not like last time. This time was like a horror show murder scene. Like Holy Shit I’m hemorrhaging All Over My Bathroom Floor While My Baby Cries In Her Room, What Is This, A Fucking Lifetime Movie? kind of scene. At one point, the nurse I was talking to on the phone was conferring with a passel of other nurses about whether or not I could wait the 30 minutes for my husband to rush home and take me to the ER, or if I should call an ambulance. They were leaning towards ambulance, but I waited.

He got home, we took the wee-er one to a friend’s house (my friend also ended up picking the wee one up from school – his reaction? "This is not an ordinary day!") and then we went to the ER. In a very serendipitous event, one of the triage nurses, also named Kari (but spelled differently) was 16 weeks pregnant and had just gone through this exact same thing two weeks earlier. So she sped us back there and gave me a room really fast.

Then, IV, tests, doppler, ultrasound… everything looked and sounded perfect. There was absolutely no evidence of any reason for the bleeding. Complete mystery why my bathroom floor looks like someone was shot in there.

So I was sent home, with instructions to come back if it got worse. That’s when the cramps started. Big, mean, wraparound contraction-y cramps. So I took some albuterol (which helped, even if it was a placebo thing), and sweated out the night.

This morning I went in to see my regular OB and, again, everything is hunky dory, other than the fact that I still haven’t stopped bleeding. His theory, confirmed by the ultrasound, is that the placenta is covering just a bit of my cervix. So he says any "moderate movement" jostles the shit out of that ornery thing and causes bleeding. Seriously, though, the only moderate movement I do is walking upstairs and carrying the wee-er one. Ugh. But that’s the best anyone can guess as to what’s the what with this stupid, terrifying, awful bleeding mess.

So my mom is here. And I am in my chair. And I am reading Un Lun Dun (by China Meiville – very excellent). And I am trying not to panic or otherwise freak out. It seems like whenever I am ready to shop for minivans or dig out my maternity clothes something like this happens to remind me that maybe I shouldn’t plan too far ahead. It’s scary and I don’t like it.

This was the longest post ever, but it makes me feel better to throw it out to the interwebs, let the Universe gobble it up, and greedily covet the warm wishes of others. It really is strangely comforting to do those things. And it also takes up time so that I am not tempted to watch Dr. Phil.

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8 thoughts on “It’s ba-ack…

  1. Glad you’re doing better. Maybe Mystery Baby should be called Miracle Baby. Reinforcements are on the way, just hold fast ’til week’s end.

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  2. Egads, what a nightmare. I’m so sorry. Wish I was local and could bring you some chocolate chip banana muffins or something. Those always make me happy. I’ll pray the bleeding stops soon and stays stopped!!

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  3. Yes, reinforcements on the way!
    Perhaps if I wear my KC duds in your presence the sheer hilarity that will undoubtedly ensue will stop the bleeding.
    Or, we’ll just take the wee and wee-er ones out for ice cream and let you rest. Either way.

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  4. Sending lots of wonderful-please-stop-bleeding thoughts your way! Once the miracle child is here, this will all be a distant memory. Hang in there!

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  5. I’m SO glad to hear things have settled. You’ve been in our thoughts from the get-go, and what’s better than warm wishes from a 17-month-old? 🙂 Say the word and we’ll be on your doorstep with chocolate chip banana muffins or any other little thing you desire.

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  6. Hooray for mamas to the rescue!
    Lots of prayers, positive thoughts, and good wishes coming your way. You Are Loved, Janis

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  7. was wondering if you were ok after i saw “dra. ma.” as your byline in gchat, and found your last blog entry. it actually made me feel faint. what a nightmare. im glad you are ok. lovies from baltimore city

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