paranoid person
should have faith and think good thoughts
but panic’s easy

For some reason I have gotten myself in a tizzy about my water breaking early. I don’t know why this suddenly feels like an imminent danger to me. In my other two pregnancies my water didn’t break until the doctor did it for me, but now I am completely paranoid and almost convinced it’s going to happen any second now. At 19 weeks, that would not be a good thing to happen.

So I thought I’d blog about it, and by calling out my fears publicly, and looking irrational and crazy, I will somehow be able to jinx it from happening.

I am just disturbed by this feeling of Imminent Doom that I have. The single artery umbilical cord only worries me a little bit, the clot is no fun and keeps me worried, but right now I’m not thinking about it. I am all-consumed with worry about finding myself in a puddle of amniotic fluid at any moment. Why is this worry hitting me like this? Why does it feel like more of a prediction than a stupid worrywart thing? Can I blame hormones for making me crazy?

Is it November yet?