tick tock tick tock

Today is my three week "anniversary" of being in the hospital. At $1,000 a day (that’s the low estimate) just think of what I could have been doing instead.

But, really, who needs the Four Seasons on Maui when it comes to brewing up a little baby for three more weeks than anyone expected. My view might not be great, the food might be fairly tragic, my mood may often be even worse, but this is the place for me.

As many sleeping pills as you want (equally as many stool softeners, if you’re into that), some opiates for good measure on the really bad days (which, by the way, SUCK. Fuck that opiate noise), and some exciting heart-racing tocolytics to keep the contractions at bay… it’s a pharmaceutical lollapalooza. Though, admittedly, I decline pretty much everything. What would happen if I took an Ambien and then sleepwalked out of my room and drove around town and tried to make out with strangers? The commercials warn of these things, you know. Mostly, though, I hate the Ambien hangover.

There are always friendly people peeking into my underpants, and asking about my kids (sometimes at the same time!). The TV works. There’s an OT lady intent on making me paint a ceiling tile. And there is constant hammering and drilling because the L&D floor is under construction. What’s not to love, really?

Morgan, Laura, Laura II, Summer, LaRhonda, Melissa, Kristin, Katherine, Christine, Mary Lou, Bertha, Jennifer, Becky, Julie, Stephanie, Jenny (the best person to give shots ever) and many, many more who’s names I can’t remember. These have all been my nurses, and they’ve all been very nice. There was the one exception of Super Chatty Nurse telling me all about her dog’s strangulated testicle and her own loss of a 20-something week twin, and another exception of Nurse Who Made Me Pee In A Bedpan Because She Was Freaking Out, but really, they’ve all been nice.

And it’s nice to know that when things start spiraling into OH SHIT, they are here to help. It’s also fun to talk to them about their kickball team. A nice distraction when you’re getting 6 terb shots.

Yesterday was not a great day for me emotionally. The wee-er one has entered the "why" stage and she said "Mommy come?" when it was time for her to leave. I said I couldn’t and then the "whys" started. It made me very, very sad. She will grab my arm and say "Mommy come now?" and it is all I can do to keep it together. I have come up with a story about magnets in my butt that won’t let me leave the bed. Kind of ridiculous, but it makes her laugh when I pretend to struggle against them.

Of all the struggles, why is the pretend one the hardest?

18 thoughts on “tick tock tick tock

  1. Thanks for updating us. You’ll be home with her soon and this probably won’t even register on her long-term memory though I know it will be in yours. Keep focusing on that day in the months ahead when you’ll all be home together and this uphill battle that you’re doing such an awesome job fighting in will be won.


  2. You’re a strong woman. Like Elizabeth pointed out, this will all pass and the wee-er one won’t even remember what happened. One day, when you’re home holding all your little ones, you’ll look back on this and think, “Damn, this little kid owes me big time…” 😉


  3. Hey, you know Mudder has a lady trying to get her to paint tiles, make angels, etc., too!! And she says the food at the “playground”, as she calls it, sucks (although she doesn’t use that particular word!!). Ya’ll can compare notes! She asks about you all the time. She and all the Georgia family love you guys! Hang in there – you are doing such a great job for this new little member of the “Holt” (and Roy) clan!


  4. Do you have any idea how many people consider you their hero? Not that you want to be anyone’s hero. But think about the very real possibility that some of the people who have been ‘following’ this saga may someday have to go thru something similar. They will have at least one person to look up to/back on. Hang in there lady. You are doing great and going to be just fine.


  5. Thank you for the update! I’m amazed by your strength through all of this. This little one is going to owe you big time 😉 Hang in there momma!!


  6. Kari, you are one amazing lady, and the wee-est one better realize it one day! Keep your spirits up & the baby cooking.


  7. I’m so glad you’re still hanging in there simmerin’ that impatient little bean! We are all thinking about you every day and wishing there was a magical gourmet faerie who would leave delicious treats by your pillow each night. Stay strong!
    (Love the story about the magnets, BTW! Leave it to you…)


  8. Every time a post from you shows up in my RSS feed I hold my breath. There is no other blog that is causing the same sort of physical and emotional reaction for me. Thank you so much for the updates.
    I think the magnet story is fantastic. Someday your kids will be utterly amazed by your strength.


  9. Kari, you are the best mom! Reading about the wee-er one wanting you to come home,just made me cry. Not only are you strong to hold it together, but only you could think up a story that would make her laugh. Many daily prayers for continued strength and more “cooking” time. Hugs!


  10. I’m still in awe of your ability to keep your sense of humor throughout this ordeal. You are amazing, mama! Keep up the great work 🙂


  11. Yay for Kari, yay for bean, and yay for the li’l ones and your DH for being so STRONG!
    And here’s to a safe baby and a safe mama and a safe magnet extraction when the time is right. 🙂


  12. hey to magnet stuck, food hater, bean grower. hang in there. little kiddos are amazingly resilient. when mommy does come, then all will be right in the world again. we’re all pulling for you, love, diane & tom


  13. I got teary-eyed reading the “Mama come?” story. But the rest of the posters are right. She won’t remember this time, and soon all will be “back to normal.” Whatever normal is. Stay strong, sister. I know it must be an excruciating ordeal, but you’re doing GREAT, and everyone in the blogosphere is praying for you.


  14. My name is Cherise Kenner and i would like to show you my personal experience with Ambien.
    I have taken for 1 years. I am 57 years old. Works great if I take it on an empty stomach, and get right into bed. If you take it and try to keep yourself awake, you can override the pill and be up all night.
    Side Effects :
    I hope this information will be useful to others,
    Cherise Kenner


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s