Still in the hospital, but hopefully for not much longer. I am just so tired. I can’t get enough rest. I’m sure it has something to do with having surgery after having been on bedrest for sooooooo long.
It’s also the pumping every 2-3 hours. I am starting to not like the pumping. I love that I’m able to pump and that my milk is in, or at least is coming in. But I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I never had to pump with my other pregnancies and so now I don’t know if I should pump until I’m empty or only pump for 15 or 20 minutes and then stop, or what. I need to find a good lactation consultant who specializes in super early babies. I am scared of getting all plugged up and/or getting mastitis. I can’t get sick because if I’m sick I can’t go to the NICU.
Also, I am stunningly short-tempered right now. Impatient, grouchy and not taking shit from anyone. I think all of my pent-up feelings about this whole situation are flooding out of me on a nice wave of postpartum emotion. It is not fun for people in the same room with me. So much crying. But maybe it will stop now that my milk is mostly in.
Enough about me.
Ike-a-saurus is on the nasal canula now, which is super fantastic. They keep saying he could destabilize at any minute, but for now, Yay! Canula! He still isn’t really digesting any of the expressed milk they put in his tummy, but the concern is not "Oh shit!" It’s more like a frustrated "crap!" Though we were told today that a 28-week baby isn’t ready to digest anything so it’s not a surprise or a major concern that the milk is staying put. It’s just a test to give him some digesting practice. Hopefully the practice will pay off.
I am beyond exhausted. I’m sure he is, too.