Approaching the second night…

should remember this
and yet it is new again
blame the exhaustion

Last night I got 17 minutes of sleep. The rest of the time was spent trying to figure out how to keep my hand on Ike-a-saurus while he slept, to make sure he was still breathing. Turns out, neither of my arms bend the right way to achieve this with the bassinet.

The other two kids, when they were infants, just slept tucked up under my armpit all night, but this guy is still so tiny, I am afraid my arm might work as a middle of the night nutcracker. Oops.

I also tried sleeping with my head on the edge of the bassinet so I could keep an eye on him, but I was afraid the weight of my lolling head would tip the bassinet off it's base and catapult the baby out the window.

Then, of course, there was the pooping. It went like this:
Ike: grunt grunt grunt grunt (10 minutes later) grunt grunt grunt grunt (30 minutes later) grunt grunt grunt grunt POOOOOOP.

Me: Holy crap, did you HEAR that?

Husband: snooore

I would get up, change the diaper, and as I was washing my hands, POOOOOP.

Ad infinitum.

(And, hello grunty, baby! No crying, just little pig/goat grunts all night long. It is like sleeping in a very cold, much nicer smelling barn.)

Also, we had some exorcist moments of the milk shooting from mouth and nose. It's a good thing Linda Blair was not wearing a snap up body suit during that mess, or the movie would have been ten hours long while we waited for them to change her clothes. ZIP UP BODYSUITS, BABY CLOTHES DESIGNERS. MAMAS WANT ZIPPERS. Not 42,000 snaps that get all fucked up and make you wonder what monkey dressed your baby in the middle of the night until you remember that you are the monkey.

The good thing about 17 minutes of sleep is that they are the deepest, most blissful 17 minutes ever. So nice and rejuvenating for the monkey mom's complexion and sanity.

I am looking forward to my 17 minutes tonight.

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8 thoughts on “Approaching the second night…

  1. Isn’t it great how men can just sleep through all the newborn noises? I feel for you, although I didn’t have the tiny-ness issue to deal with, just the too many babies issue πŸ˜‰

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  2. I used to call Aaron goat boy πŸ™‚ Cutest little grunts.
    What direction is Ike facing in the bassinet? I remember turning Katy with her head towards the foot of our bed made it easier for me to keep my hand on her for some reason. I can’t remember exactly how it worked, though. It’s been too many years of sleepless nights.
    Congrats and good luck on getting more sleep!

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  3. Add this note to the baby clothing designers: make the zippers close from top to bottom. I always hated pj’s with zippers because you had to practically take the entire thing off to change their diaper. Not good in the middle of a cold night. Yeah, let’s wake them up EVEN MORE when the frigid air hits their tiny naked chest. Brilliant.
    You should look into a moses basket, then you could have him right in bed with you! Or one of those positioner type things. Less likely to do the nutcracker thing. (Which I totally feel ya on; I didn’t cosleep with the girls until they were 4 months for the same reason.)
    Praying for a better night for you tonight!

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  4. The Angel Care monitor has an alarm that goes off if the baby quits breathing. It gave me great peace of mind. Also, Children’s Place makes zipper pajamas that I loved and adored. I also just used a nightgown so I could yank it up and change quickly. HTH. You are an amazing mother and he is a lucky boy to get to be home with you. XXOO, amber

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  5. I hear ya – how do they channel so much poop? It’s that amazing mommy milk that does it! I have heard good things about those monitors – maybe it could buy you 18 minutes of sleep? Babys R Us has them.

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  6. Hey, your post reminded me of the time that weight of my lolling head *did* tip over the bassinet of my first child. Luckily I woke up in time to catch it, but after that we co-slept. I also remember being afraid I’d squish her, so I slept on a full size futon (good to have a hard mattress) with no pillows and her in the middle and me huddled at one end, and DH in separate bed. For my second we sidecarred a crib using ratchet straps to hold it VERY tightly to the bed so no gap.
    Isn’t it great to be experiencing all the (sort of) typical newborn baby stuff with Ike?!

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