Real life Christmas letter

want to know the truth
or should I gloss it over
or do none at all

It is no surprise to those of you who know me that I will not be sending out Christmas cards this year. I just don't have time. Plus, I'd have to get everyone a box to put the Christmas letter in because it would be 400 pages long. This has been – to put it simply – A CRAZY ASS YEAR FULL OF CRAZY ASS THINGS.

I briefly thought of doing a card with a note about how things are going. Sort of pretending that the year started October 20th when Ike-a-saurus came home. But even then, too much to talk about.

Then I thought maybe I should just a write a letter that shows off our exciting day-to-day action:

Dear Everyone,

Today I stepped on a Lego piece and swore like a sailer in front of my kids. Last week Georgia ate three of my birth control pills. The economy is shit and we're worried about going broke. But that's mostly because I want to spend all of our mortgage payments on things like a new macbook and adorable shoes for the wee-er one, and diy robots for the wee one, and probably a Corvette or a prancing pony for Ike-a-saurus because we are just so happy to finally have him home.

I cook pasta and forget about it and nearly burn down the house almost everyday. The wee-er one refuses to wear anything but pajamas. The wee one never stops talking, especially when he is talking about trying to not talk as much. Ike-a-saurus is not pooping. The dog IS pooping. Everywhere.

The wee one just hit the wee-er one in the nose so hard it squeaked. That means I have to stop writing this letter.

Happy holidays!

You know what, though? if I had time, I could totally write a sappy Christmas card, too. I mean, we have Ike! He's home! He's here! The wee one just tied for first place in first grade for his Robot Hand science project. I am wearing my size 6 jeans again, almost back to normal. The wee-er one comes up to me throughout the day and whispers, "I lub you mommy." My husband does laundry – every day!

See? I could totally write one of those annoying letters, too. This has been a year of Terrible. But also a year of Wow! And there are still a few days left. I better not write anything else about it until 2008 is officially done. God knows what could happen in the next few weeks!

So no Christmas cards this year. Maybe a Christmas email. Maybe a holiday photo of the kids in their new Christmas jammies. Or maybe I will wait a while. Maybe I will try to salvage these next few days from the traditional holiday panic, and instead use them to rest and reflect.

Ah, who am I kidding? There are cookies to be made! Presents to be wrapped! QVC to be watched! Diapers to be changed! I think our holiday card this year should probably just be a picture of the empty couch. We are too busy running around and playing and fighting and crying and laughing to sit still for a picture. I like it that way, too.

2 thoughts on “Real life Christmas letter

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