must be serious
situations require this
unfortunate fact

Today, at the pediatrician's office, the doctor and I were working out which vaccines Ike-a-saurus was going to get. We're on a slightly delayed schedule so I asked him to prioritize and just pick two shots.

So we were discussing which ones to do and we decided to add the rotavirus vaccine, too (which is administered orally.)

The doctor says to me, "So, that's two pokes and an oral."

<awkward silence>

Here's what I did not say:

"That sounds like a shopping list in Vegas!"
"I went to those parties in college, too!"
"What kind of place are you running here, doc?"
"OK, but I better call my husband first."

Instead, I repeated it. "Two pokes and an oral."

<more awkward silence>

It took every ounce of every fiber of every being in my body to not chuckle like a moron. The doctor left hastily, while my back was turned (I was fiddling with Ike-a-saurus' clothes). Just as the door shut behind him, I shouted out, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I couldn't help it. It just sprang forth, an unfortunate affliction of never aging past 14.

That's what she said, indeed.

Two pokes and an oral. Are you kidding me?

It still makes me laugh. I hope we don't need to switch doctors.