four hours forty-five
the insurance is cut off
now THAT's severance
And so, adding to the Fun That Just Won't Stop, my husband was laid off today.
The insurance is cut off at midnight unless we pay $1400 a month for COBRA. That's like saying "unless we pay three vials of unicorn tears and 16 solid gold monkey butts."
Two weeks severance.
$170 a month for Ike-a-saurus' goose-honk-preventing Prevacid.
But what can we do? At this point, it's just surreal. We've been reenacting Mr. Mom all night. I'm going to go eat some Colonel Chicken and polish my Schooner Tuna scripts.
It's either that or FREAK OUT. And I'm too tired to freak out.
Suck it, Universe. Suck my lady balls.