After all of the excitement yesterday afternoon, last night was fairly quiet. Only two Bradys (heart rate drops) and both were with suction (they happened after the respiratory therapist used a tube to suck junk out of Ike's lungs) and he self-recovered from both. Having no Bradys would be awesome, but if he's going to have them, the kind he had last night were not as bad as the ones in the afternoon.

This morning, however, he has already had one of the spontaneous Bradys. These are new. He had not had them until yesterday and so everyone is kind of scratcing their heads, trying to figure out what's going on. The respiratory therapist had an interesting theory about Ike wrestling with the vent, but his solution can't be tested because of the paralytics they have Ike on (so that he won't move and wiggle the trach). The nurse has an interesting theory, dealing with the effects of the anesthesia from Tuesday, but again, he has to remain sedated and partially paralyzed right now, so the solution is moot.

My theory is a simple one – Ike just needs to poop. Trying to poop is causing a vasovagal response and that causes a heart rate drop. Yesterday, while all of the scariness was going on, I smelled little toots. Then the EKG confirmed the drops were most likely vagal-oriented. Ike has a history of having a difficult time pooping, so add it all together and there you go. Of course, to make him poop, they have to give him a suppository and THAT can stimulate a vagal response, too.

I am very unsteady this morning, but trying to keep my brain working. I feel like the doctors and nurses and therapists are very accepting of me as part of their team. They listen to me and respond to me and explain things over and over when I ask the same questions over and over. They are not defensive or arrogant when I question a choice that had been made, but they won't give in, either.

I really need to go home. I need to go see the wee-er one. I want to surprise the wee one by meeting him at school for lunch. I need a shower. I need a clean shirt. But I also need to be here so I can listen in on rounds. And I need to steady myself before I drive. Now that I've started getting a little bit of sleep at night I feel even more tired than ever.

I think maybe if I cry and then throw up and then take a nap I might be able to to regroup.

It's only 9am? It's only 9am.