Last night, we got a little adventurous, and after some ventilator wrangling we managed to get a shirt on Ike. Boy did he like it. I also managed to let him "accidentally" latch on for about 15 minutes while I was rocking him. The attending asked very politely for me to stop it, so we stopped it. But it was very nice.
He slept well last night, and so did I.
This morning, he was still pretty happy, but after some vigorous CPT he totally puked a gallon and a half of mucus all over his shirt and blanket and everything (tmi? Sorry). So we're back to no clothes, but that's OK. He was so happy last night and so was I. I hope we can figure out how to do that again.
Today has been more up and down than I'd like. A little too stressful. But still nothing like last week. I'm just so happy he looks like Ike-a-saurus again. No more puffy eyes and puffy face. No more drool from the paralytics. No more distended belly from having to be bagged so often. He finally has that pointy chin again, too.
There are still so many things to get used to. He doesn't make any noise when he cries or when he coughs, for one thing. And we are going to need some v-neck shirts. And there are a million other things. But I have to not worry about that now. I need to worry about getting rid of this MRSA and getting him off the vent. I need to worry about seeing the wee one and the wee-er one more than just a few minutes a day. Too much stuff to worry about from so many different angles.
Today I feel stressed out. I feel tense and weirdly angry. The nurse keeps telling me over and over that there is only another 6 hours worth of breastmilk in the fridge. That's no problem because I am still pumping and have some frozen milk at home I can bring, and we have an order for milk from the milk bank. We are covered. But it still stresses me out.
And this COBRA nonsense. The new legislation sounds wonderful, but no one knows anything about it. We already have Ike signed up for COBRA, but if we could reduce our costs and get the whole family covered again, that would be really great. Too bad no one knows what to do.
I am rambling now and it's time for me to get my shoes on and run home for a bit to see the kids. Ike's monitors are going off, though, and I don't want to leave him. But if I want to go I need to go because my husband is here and I can't drive myself because the fucking car broke. Since when do Nissan Altima's break? Only in the Haiku of the Day family.
OK, I'm off before the pity party starts. I don't want to do that. It's not very productive. Time for home and a shower and some kisses from the kids. If my husband can drag me out of here.