Tonight we are offering the finest vintage of aught nine binkies.
With an exquisite bouquet of plastic, co-mingled with a hint of funky hospital ice, the Binky Aught Nine is a paci for only the most refined palettes.
Please enjoy this exceptional treat as a gift from the establishment. We hope it not only soothes, but that it will remind you to think of Dell Children's for any further life-endangering and life-altering episodes you may consider in the future.
Alternate post I was considering for this picture:
"Please remember to add Turquoise Binky to your injured reserve list. He will be out of commission for fantasy hospital play this week. Vigorous overuse has caused him to tear his RNT (Rigid Nipple Tendon) and he will need at least 6-8 weeks to recover. Teething season is always a rough one during Fantasy Hospital play. Please make a note in your lineup."