Except I don’t have any Xanax.
We have been cleared for release from the hospital. Yay, right?
Well, thanks to the collective bumbling of the case management team, we don’t have the equipment we need to go home. Specifically, we don’t have a suction pump. I find it exceedingly fitting that a thing that LITERALLY SUCKS is causing such a fucking nightmare today.
We may not be able to leave until Wednesday now. It is inconceivable that the insurance would rather pay $4000+ a night rather than expedite us getting a $500 suction pump. But I am through trying to be rational.
Thank the tiny baby Jesus with his tiny balled up fists that I married a rational man. He is politely getting after people. I am impolitely writing lists in my head of people to kick in the ear.
Boooo. Boooo. We are being held hostage by idiots and a true manifestation of suck.
Haiku of the Day 
Oh noooooooo!!! That is absolutely insane. You are lucky to have a rational man in your life. My husband and I are both completely irrational and one of us would probably be in jail by now if we were in your shoes.
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Order a meal and charge it to the room! Steal some alcohol pads, pillow cases and water pitchers while you are there for the road. See what else insurance will pay for – get some prescriptions for xanax and some ambien!
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ahhhh–insurance companies—say no more. good luck with this and congrats on getting to go home —
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