Just FYI

In case you were wondering, when you have to feed your baby milk augmented by thickening slime, the thickening slime also augments other things.

I could probably sell his thickened poo as a) an alternative to Chinese-made drywall b) pothole filler c) material to stuff inside those bouncy floors that gymnasts use.

Also, I might need some dynamite up in here. This shit does not come off the changing table. It is worse than dried up grits. And if you don't know how hard it is to clean dried up grits off of things (namely floors, highchairs, eyeglasses) you do not embrace your Southern heritage.

Seriously.

When your baby's poop resembles a high dollar clay facial mask you know things are just.not.ordinary in your house.

It smells really bad, too. In case you were wondering. Probably the gymnasts won't like that.

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7 thoughts on “Just FYI

  1. You’re hilarious. Thank you for at least one daily laugh (and a few cries) and for sharing your strength and honesty. I’ve just received your little haiku book in the mail and look forward to reading it!

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  2. Makes new meaning for the term “oh shit”.
    Sheeet.
    OH SHIT.
    oh. SHIT.
    After I write it a few times, shit seems to lose its punch. Hopefully, that will be the case for you guys too!

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  3. I’ve just caught up on your past year and I have hoped and prayed that when I had caught up things would be better, and honestly from where you were I am so glad to see that things have gotten better. Its taken me a while to catch up and I have completely forgotten how I got to your blog but I am so glad I did. Your mix of humor and raw truth and openness is something I find so admirable in you. I do hope Ike continues to get better and that your family’s situation gets better. I will continue to tune in the read about you and your family and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you.

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