I bought these:

And I plan to do this:

As soon as I can figure out how to buy one of those red punchy things up there.

(And seriously, why doesn't that glove picture look tough? It totally looks like a Shamu puppet on my hand.)

When I learn how to pummel things fiercely and with my eyes bravely closed, as expertly modeled by the wee-er one up there, I am going to join the roller derby. Then it's totally going to be, Step Off, World.

The Trach Wreck is going to take.you.down.