I can haz yer vitriol?

do not mess with him
the anointed TV god
of many JAG-offs

Wow. You guys really like this David James Elliott fellow. You like him so much that kind readers have instructed me to, among other things, "keep you [sic] insulting thoughts to yourself".

I have also been schooled that JAG was the awesomest show of awesomeness ever to awesomely graze the awesome TV for ten awesome years.

I stand corrected.

So, in order to make it up to all of you DJE fans, please accept this list I have come up with to celebrate the awesomeness of the dude from JAG:

David James Elliott is so awesome all of the magnetic poles point to him.
David James Elliott is so awesome chocolate craves him.
David James Elliott is so awesome the Grand Canyon visits him on vacation.
David James Elliott is so awesome he is certified organic.
David James Elliott is so awesome the D in HDTV actually stands for David.
David James Elliott is so awesome pandas spawn at the sight of him.
David James Elliott is so awesome the space shuttle's launch window is in his bathroom.
David James Elliott is so awesome the Emmy's have been renamed the DJE's.
David James Elliott is so awesome he just merged with Fiat.
David James Elliott is so awesome he can keep two beta fish in one bowl.

Is that good? Do we all agree now that David James Elliott is super awesome with a side of awesome?

Excellent.

Anyone have his phone number? I'm interested to know how much he charges to perform a single stage laryngotracheoplasty. I'm totally in the market for a person who can do that while looking handsome.

Or we can forget the laryngotracheoplasty and I can just make fun of him watch him in a made-for-TV movie.

That would be awesome.

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14 thoughts on “I can haz yer vitriol?

  1. People actually flamed you for that???? Oh my goodness. Really people. I had never heard of him either, but I am pretty sure my grandmother used to watch JAG.
    We are continuing disaster-movie week tonight with Sudden Impact! Because the Impact! Will be Sudden!

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  2. Did you delete the comments that were posted about your ignorance of David James Elliott?
    I guess you were very embarrased and your reply is childish and displays the true jerk that you really are. You shouldn’t be writing on the internet. You’re not literally worthy!!!
    Brandy

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  3. For real, I haven’t deleted anything! Sometimes the captcha is a little tricky, though, so maybe the millions of angry comments didn’t make it through. Or maybe everyone has gone to bed. Either way, I’m cool.

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  4. What exactly does literally worthy mean? That doesn’t even make any sense. Sheesh.
    I’m tired of Kari-bashing, how ’bout you?

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  5. I’m going to claim ignorance-in-youth on this one, since JAG went on the air when I was a whopping 14 years old. That’s back when my parents controlled my TV consumption. Pretty sure JAG and David whatshisface weren’t on the “approved” list. Obviously, he was a badass of unrivaled proportions.
    Do David whatshisface’s fan club troll the internet to flame any negative commentator into submission? Like scientology, but without a budget? (Or literacy requirements, apparently.) Maybe they maintain a Catholic-like vigil, with each member patrolling t3h interwebz for an hour before passing the torch to the next worthy soul. Their dedication is moving, really.

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  6. Also, every time you type DJE, I read it in my head as “Deej” and it makes me think of Full House. Probably not the aura DJE is trying to cultivate, though.

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  7. Brandy/Bernadette or whatever your name is… are you kidding me?
    When was the last time you were published? Please! Kari has TWO books that have been published… and not just on the “internet”… REAL paper with those books! She’s been blogging for YEARS!
    Honestly I never could watch JAG… it was too painful to watch the travesty they called script writing. The excruciating inaccuracies regarding the JAG system… could give an intelligent person nightmares.

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  8. Jeez, Kari… I can’t believe you were unaware of the man who starred in “Knights of Bloodsteel.”
    His resume speaks for itself!*
    *And what it says is, “I’m not a terribly good actor.”

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  9. I have never heard of David Elliott and I have never heard of JAG. I guess it’s because I have been too busy at my J.O.B.

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  10. I took a shit this morning and it looked just like David James Elliott! The tricky part will be, how do I display it on the mantle next to the potato chip that resembles him.

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  11. Well for feck’s sake. Bitches be crazy.
    Bernadette/Brandy,I heard DJE is a total douchebag. Kindred spirits, no? That’s literally worthy. Literally, man. Literally.

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  12. I appreciate the help from the posse.
    In a twist of fate that Iran could learn from, Brandy and I have made up. I complimented DJE’s hat, and she may or may not try to not be so grouchy. Win!
    So I’m going to turn comments off for these two posts now. (seriously, who knew??)

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