they burn when they're closed
spiderwebs or lightning bolts
streak across my eyes
For some reason I haven't been able to sleep more than four hours at a time lately. I have tried making lists before I go to sleep. I have tried making lists when I wake up and want to go back to sleep. This will, theoretically, tame the jabbering in my head that won't let me settle down – at least that's what I tell myself. But it doesn't work.
I try covering my eyes so that the room stays dark, because going to bed at 4:30 am every night means I sleep when the sun is brightest in my room in the mornings. It doesn't work.
I try rescue remedy.
A pillow over my head.
Chanting a single word over and over.
And yet, after that first 4 hours, I cannot go back to sleep.
I'm sure part of it has to do with my schedule. Being the night nurse for Ike-a-saurus is something that I honestly love. But it takes a toll when I can't sleep in the mornings.
Staying up with him gives me time to myself, and gives me time to write and mull and plan. If we ever get a regular night nurse I will really miss these late nights with him. He snoozes, I administer nebs and meds and bottles, and I get a chance to write for a while. It reminds me of being in college. Except for the nebs and meds and bottles part. Writing in the dark while other people are zonked in a chair – that's the college part.
Even so, I have got to start sleeping.
Where for art thou, sleep? My burning eyeballs miss you.