The finger trach trick

the finger trach trick
good for causing heart attacks
in other people

Ike-a-saurus is ALL OVER this talking thing. He squeaks and chirps
all day. He has learned that even though he can vocalize without
wearing his speaking valve, he can be a lot louder with it. He has also
learned that when mean Mommy, or the mean nurse decide that it's time
to give the valve a rest (it has no humidification, so he can only wear
it for short bursts of time), he has another option. This option is
to remove the HME he wears over his trach (also called a "nose," it's a
barrel-shaped plastic thing with paper or foam on its ends, and it acts
as a fake nose, moistening and warming the air that is breathed into
the trach).

Note: You are not supposed to remove the HME unless you are hooked
up to a mist collar (like he wears when he sleeps) or unless you're
wearing the speaking valve.

Lost yet? Sorry.

Anyway, we take the valve off so that Ike-a-saurus' trach doesn't
get too dry. This does not make him happy, because it's harder to chirp loudly without the valve. So to circumvent us, he
yanks off the nose we put on him and proceeds to put his finger in his

Plugs it right up like a finger in the Hoover Dam.

Except instead of preventing a water leak, he is PREVENTING BREATHING.

Well, he might be preventing himself from breathing, but with a
finger in his trach he can make the loudest noises of all. This pleases
him immensely – until he starts gagging for breath. How many times can
I have a heart attack in one day? Infinite, it turns out.

But he loves it. As soon as the nose goes on, he yanks it off to
either eat it, or to stick his finger in his trach and yell "AH! AH!
AH! [horrible gagging choking noise]"

Between this ruckus and the potty train, our days are not boring around here. Not boring at all.

8 thoughts on “The finger trach trick

  1. Your children are hilarious. All of them.
    Sorry ’bout the heart attacks, but damn, that’s funny. You really should have put some effort into having dumber kids.


  2. Ikeasaurus Scalarious sounds like the Latin name for a sweet, funny boy who likes to give his Momma heart attacks.
    Oh, it is so nice to hear about Ike being.. well.. a boy. And hey, I didn’t ask for the video this time. 🙂 (Okay, I might have asked if I hadn’t been beat to it.)


  3. genius!!
    dont’ know if this is useful to know but emily has never worn anything at all on her trach – just naked to the air all day. she covers it with her chin when she wants to get really loud!! i’ve never seen her with her finger in it…again…GENIUS!


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