My emotional Spanx

not a social life
but socialness in my life
scary, exciting

I feel like I haven't been blogging as much lately. There have not been nearly enough angry rants directed at strangers. But there's good reason – I've been busy taking a break from Kari Anne Roy, and enjoying some time as K.A. Holt. School visits and parties and book festivals – it's all out of my comfort zone and therefore hugely, crazy exhausting. But the more I get out, the more I like it, and the more acclimated I get to actually talking to other grown-ups. Dare I say it: it's fun!

This weekend was HUGE, with the Texas Book Festival. I got to meet so many great local (and non-local) authors, learn so many new things from readings and panels, climb a little more out of my shell… it was really energizing.

For such a long time, I've been trapped in this house. Years, really. And it's no one's fault. I've never been a very social person, so initially, being trapped in the house wasn't a very big deal. But now that my book is out, and the new book is coming out, it's important for me to be able to leave the house. not only that, I crave the attention and the insights and the critiques from my writing community. I don't necessarily want to soldier along alone like I've been doing.

It's funny, because I had this realization last year with my mama community. I didn't want to ask for help, I didn't want to accept help. I wanted to hunker down and hide in the house and just push through everything as best our family could. But then I realized that my mama community, my friends – they ARE my family. And to accept help from them wasn't a sign of weakness or fragility, it was an acceptance of love.

Now that might sound kind of cheesy, but it's true. And now I'm learning that the same thing can be said for the local writing community. They are here as support and empathy and encouragement – and as friends. It's not something I should shy away from just because I feel that writing is solitary. The writing process can still be solitary even while you have a community supporting you – and that you support as well.

It's nice to be around people. Sometimes that obvious statement isn't so evident when you're kind of fighting the tsunamis that life keeps throwing at you. Saying that I've been treading water is incredibly cliche, but it really is the best metaphor. A wave come, threatens to drown us, and yet, our heads pop up above the surface.

I know there are more waves. There is a lot still to come this year with Ike-a-saurus. But it is less daunting when I realize I don't have to face it alone. And as far as the books go, I am just thrilled to be sticking my nose into a community of such creative, supportive, amazing folks.

You guys are like my emotional Spanx. And that is awesome.

I'm going to re-post this over on my KA Holt blog, I think, so feel free to drop by over there. I blog over there about writing and meeting authors and things like that. I've started writing a short story a day for the month of November, too: ShoStoBloMo. I just made that up, and it's incredibly fun to say out loud.

So, anyway, drop by the KA Holt blog, if you're so inclined. You don't have to, though. This is still my primary blog – the place I go to vent and laugh and go insane.

OK. Must relinquish computer to the charger, strangle the wee-er one for getting Nerds ALL OVER MY SOFA, and get in a shower before the day does its best to wallop me into submission.

This was a weird post, I know. More serious than usual, more intorspective. Forgive me. Poop jokes will commence shortly….

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2 thoughts on “My emotional Spanx

  1. I’m so happy for you that you’re getting out there and doing cool stuff for your books. And for yourself. Lord knows you deserve it. And you know I can totally relate to the weirdness of the writing life–being all holed up in your office, or just in your head, talking to people that don’t exist and putting them through hell just so people who DO exist can read about them and escape their own lives for a little while–but then realizing that you have got to talk with people who understand what that’s like, people who understand that reading blogs and surfing the web and watching weird TV is absolutely critical for your brain to be creative. We’re a whacked breed, we writers. We need to stick together. 🙂

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  2. “Emotional Spanx”- love it! And understand it completely.
    I work from home too, designing data networks. (I know what you’re thinking… Fun! Right?) I will note, as a former Literautre & Writing Major, that I appreciate that writing requires extra creative juice.
    Anyway, I love being home and autonomous. But I found that I was having to coerce myself to get out/branch out more. I think I might have even been turning into a Cranky Old Lady.
    My point (and it IS coming) was that, like you, I found that the more I do, the more fun I have and the less it wears me out. Maybe it’s like a muscle that gets in better shape the more you work it. (I think that’s what muscles do, I personally can’t say).
    I guess what I am trying to say is, I can relate, and I’m excited to hear all your adventures, excited that you are finding more support and understanding, and glad that you’re having fun with it all.
    I guess I could have said that all in like those two sentences, but it’s been a long day and I’m not even going to check my spelling.
    Hope you have a great weekend!

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