like a long party
that's the way to think of it
like Rock Band for life
My husband is upstairs right now packing for his two week business trip. His first day on the new job will be spent flying above the fruited plain. And then he'll be training and meeting clients and watching cable and eating out and sleeping in a cold, dark hotel room with no oximeters beeping or children screaming.
Yes, yes, I'm a little jealous.
Mostly, though, I'm enjoying a brief moment of overconfidence. Sure it will be just me and the three kids, alone, weeks before Christmas. Sure this means the only shopping I'll get done will be online and last minute. That's OK, because there's no money anyway. And sure it means figuring out how to bathe two kids while suctioning another, and it means keeping two kids from killing each other while the third climbs up the stairs. It's nothing other moms haven't done before me. And I won't be alone the whole time. We'll have our day nurse and our night nurse for most days, so Ike-a-saurus will be covered for a big part of the time.
I'm actually looking forward to trying to resurrect the lovely day-to-day we had around here when Ike first came home from the NICU (those pre-trach salad days). He and the wee-er one and I would snuggle in bed in the mornings and plan our day, while the wee one was off at school. We would cook and nap and cry and poop and read and write and generally it was really very nice. It's been a long time since we had that, and I'm hoping that with my husband back at work, the kids and I can find our groove again. Of course, our nurse will be here and that will be different, but not bad.
It is going to be quite an adjustment, though. Even my overconfidence recognizes that.
We've had a role reversal over here, where my husband has made sure the fridge and freezer are packed with food so we don't starve while he's gone. He's done laundry and gotten everything situated for his departure. We're as ready as we're going to be.
I am going to try not to panic, to go with the flow – all that cliche kind of stuff. When I see the colors speeding towards me – Red for doctor's phone calls, green for loads of laundry, yellow for medicaid stuff, blue for whatever blue can stand for, I'll hit the notes as best I can and aim for the next ones coming down the line. No time to look back and worry about what I missed. No time to plan ahead. Just twang twang twang, and a hope I average higher than 50%.
The next two weeks will be like Life Rock Band. Life Band? Rock Life? I think the level is probably hiked up to Expert, which is a little above my skill set, but that's OK. At least for now. I just hope I can set it on no-fail and the crowd doesn't boo at me.
Well, they'll boo at me. I just hope I don't strangle the crowd. That would hurt my score.