Top ten great things about having a trach

10. If you choke on a button, you can still breathe

9. If your brother strangles you with a rope Santa brought him (wtf, Santa?), you can still breathe

8. It makes a great place to store pieces of chocolate

7. It matches everything

6. If someone strange gets too close to you, you can use it to shoot flying blow darts of slime right into their eyes.

5. I'll say that again – shoot blow darts of slime – FROM YOUR NECK!

4. Stuffed up sinuses? Who cares!

3. Lots of extra KY jelly around the house

2. When you put your finger in it you can go "ARGLE ARGH BA BA BA BARGLE
BLARGH" over and over and over while your mom is on the phone

1. Breathing!

One thought on “Top ten great things about having a trach

  1. LOL. I’m sitting here with a nasty cold myself, and it occurs to me that someday, after that trach comes out, poor Ike could be quite annoyed to find out what having a cold is like for everyone else! Although, probably worth it…


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