10. If you choke on a button, you can still breathe
9. If your brother strangles you with a rope Santa brought him (wtf, Santa?), you can still breathe
8. It makes a great place to store pieces of chocolate
7. It matches everything
6. If someone strange gets too close to you, you can use it to shoot flying blow darts of slime right into their eyes.
5. I'll say that again – shoot blow darts of slime – FROM YOUR NECK!
4. Stuffed up sinuses? Who cares!
3. Lots of extra KY jelly around the house
2. When you put your finger in it you can go "ARGLE ARGH BA BA BA BARGLE
BLARGH" over and over and over while your mom is on the phone