Some observances

1. If they didn't call it "psychotherapy" they might get more people interested in it

2. When being reevaluated for early intervention services, it's not really fair to say a kid "can't yet open a door" when the doorknob is still out of his reach

3. Number 2 doesn't really matter, if he scores well, but still

4. Screeching at a child does not make said child want to comply

5. Screeching at a mama does not make said mama want to comply

6. No.'s 4 and 5 create an ugly ouroboros of mama/daughter communication (at least in this household)

7. It is important for your children to memorize your home phone number, but the importance loses its value if the oldest kid uses this knowledge to call you from school every other day to freak out about money and rashes. (Money for my milk! [use your lunch account], Money for a picture day pennant! [ugh], There are spots on my back, can my teacher put lotion on them? [uhhh…])

8. As soon as you tell your kid's trach nurse that he hasn't been sick in FOREVER, he wakes up with his eye sealed shut and green stuff leaking from his trach hole

9. There are no retroactive things one can do to make one's nurse happy after one's dog eats said nurse's breakfast bar

10. It takes a really long time to print custom temporary tattoos

11. Shouting "GET OVER HERE, YOU LITTLE BITCH" at a piece of grass on the kitchen floor that refuses to succumb to the vacuum is neither helpful nor a good learning experience for your impressionable audience

12. When asked if you would prefer Tai Chi or meditation and you respond, "Actually, I just want to hit things and break stuff" you get to watch eyebrows raise high, high, high onto foreheads

13. Acetaminophen is a wonder drug

2 thoughts on “Some observances

  1. There should be a class for hitting things and breaking stuff. Much more cathartic than Tai Chi or meditation.


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